adoption continued...

Our baby is home, so the adoption is done, right?

No, not quite.

Technically, we have custody of Brett, but the adoption is not finalized yet. We hope to have the adoption finalized sometime this summer. First, we must have two post-placement visits with our social worker (required by Georgia), Brett must be home for six months (required by Minnesota), and, of coarse, a lot more paperwork!

We have an additional step of getting the birth father's rights terminated before we can finalize Brett's adoption. Brett's adoption is considered a "legal risk placement". What this means is that Brett's birth father did not sign a relinquishment of his right to parent Brett like his birth mother did. Bryan and I chose to accept the "risk" that Brett's birth father might choose to parent Brett. The reason this process was not completed before placement is that he was unaware of the adoption. I will not go into any further detail here, in order to honor and respect our son's history and privacy. But our agency in Georgia is currently working to either have him relinquish his rights or have his rights terminated according to the requirements of Georgia law.

Usually we get a reaction of panic when we tell people about our "legal risk". But, like I said, we were fully aware of it before we agreed to adopt Brett, and we are very confident that we will be able to finalize Brett's adoption with no problems. This is a very common practice.

So, our first post-placement visit with our social worker was last night. Basically, she came over to our house to meet Brett, see how we were adjusting, and answer any questions we had about the process. She will write up a report and it is part of our paperwork for finalization. Brett was on his best behavior, and showing off all the things he does, cooing and playing with his activity gym.

But it seems like Brett is always on his best behavior! We're still waiting for him to be a challenge!

wear my baby

Baby wearing (v.)-the act of attaching baby to oneself through use of a sling, wrap, or carrier and getting on with one's day, often resulting in a happy baby.

Baby wearing is kind of trendy. A little too trendy for my taste, but for once, a good trend, backed up by perhaps thousands of years of mothers knowing what's best for baby. In fact, studies have shown that the more babies are held, the less they cry and fuss. In indigenous cultures where baby wearing is the norm, babies often cry for only a few minutes a day – in contrast to Western babies, who often cry for hours each day. (see http://www.naturalchild.org/)

Imagine spending the first nine months of your existence in a nice warm little snug home, and suddenly being brought into a vast open space often away from the comforts of the smells and sounds you had become accustomed to. A sling or wrap is in essence a transitional womb.

So, before Brett came, I decided to be a baby wearer. My main reason was initially for bonding. Brett listened to and became familiar with the smells of two moms before me (his birth mom and his foster mom). In his wrap, he smells me and hears my heartbeat.

But, after I started baby wearing, I learned of several other wonderful advantages:

Convenience! While wearing baby, I can do laundry, wash the dishes, put dinner on, do paperwork, make the bed....

....okay....so I don't actually make the bed...but I could if I wanted to.

Exercise! Strap 12 pounds to yourself and go for a walk or just go about doing household chores, and get a workout!

Brett cannot resist sleep when he's in the "womb"! In fact, I've stopped putting him in it unless I want him to nap!

The car seat is heavy and awkward. I'm not that strong. Baby+seat is over 20 lbs., and you have to carry the weight far away from your body.

Don't like people always asking to hold Baby? Nobody asks when Brett is in the wrap, and it provides some protection from airborne pathogens when he is tucked inside.

The wrap has been a great "hands free device". Even Bryan uses it when he is preparing and serving dinner at SAY Yes!

still looking to the day...

"I look to a day when people will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character."

"An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity."

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."

"Life's most urgent question is: what are you doing for others?"

~Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

one month of motherhood

Brett has been in our arms for one month! Wow! How life has changed! I have been asked, "What's the biggest surprise?" Hmm...let me think...

• It really is a productive day when I get in both a shower and a load of laundry.
• Friends bringing meals over has been invaluable. You don't realize what a blessing it is until you are on the receiving end!
• Babies don't sleep all the time.
• My mind wonders to thoughts and prayers for Ms. April (Brett's birth mother) several times a day.
• Always the same thing in- what comes out is always a surprise.
• I didn't think it'd hurt (me) so much to hear Brett cry.
• Even with those dimples, his big smile is not cute at 1am.
• I wasn't overcome with emotion when I first layed eyes on Brett. But I was when he first layed eyes on me-a few hours later. I said to him, "Hi, I'm your momma and I love you." And I was. And I did.
• Brett cries in his sleep. And snores. And hums. And squeaks.
• Not being a "baby person", I thought it would get boring just rocking him or watching him sleep. It hasn't yet.
• Mom was right. Motherhood does come naturally.

Overall, motherhood has been better than expected. I highly recommend it!

cousins

Cousins are great because they are kind of like siblings without the rivalry.

Last week one of my four favorite cousins (I only have four cousins) came to hang out with Brett and I. We went to a couple baby stores to check out cloth diapers. Yes, we are still planning to use cloth diapers once Brett grows into the one-size-fits-most variety!

Then over the weekend, we went to Mom and Dad's to celebrate our postponed family Christmas. Hard to believe with the 18 of us-my parents, the 3 kids and their spouses, and 10 kids ages 0-16 at a hotel with a water park, it was so chaotic that no family pictures were taken!

But I did get a couple pictures of Brett with his newest cousin, Audrianna. She is 24 days younger than Brett, but it's hard to tell-even though Brett's not a little guy!I think this picture is funny because it might look like Brett is really screaming, but he's actually yawning!Cousin Hannah holding Brett on Game Day.

Brett is a particularly fun cousin because he takes a bottle!Grace is practicing for babysitting this summer.

(The boy cousins were only interested in "pounding it" with Brett, which I did not get a picture of...)

Brett is completely uninterested in Grandpa's first computer lesson!

Baby daze

Swing time (he does the "number 1" thing a lot!)

Tummy time (not his favorite)
Protesting to tummy time
Nap timeWearing Daddy's number!

How's Rocky adjusting?

Lots of people are curious about how our feline adopted daughter is adjusting to our new family member.

First a little history: We adopted Rocky shortly after we were married. She was six and had a troubled past. She had a "special" room to herself in the shelter. We were fairly warned that she did not play well with others and had some aggressive tendencies. We adopted her anyway! The first couple months we had her, we barely saw her. She spent most of her time hiding under the bed. But slowly, over time, she grew to like us...and only us. Still, she bites when things are not on her terms, and I am constantly warning guests to give her space.

The first day we were home with Brett, she mostly just glared at Brett and us attending to his needs. But by the second day, when the smelly noisy thing was still here, she seemed to recognize she would have to share us if she wanted to get any attention at all. She started jumping in our laps while we were holding Brett. But she showed no concern for his personal space. She has sat right on his legs, swished her tail right in his face, and even stepped right on his tummy! But it was the last straw when I was feeding Brett, lifted him to burp him, and she turned and bit my wrist! She's no longer allowed to share lap space.

But she is obsessively curious about Brett. Every time we get up with Brett during the night, she is right there with us (on the floor, now). And a few times at night, she has woken us up pawing at his bedroom door!

Brett has not noticed Rocky yet. Rocky has another thing coming when he does!

If looks could kill...

"This is MY spot!"

Brett smiles

But he's camera shy.

He mostly smiles at Daddy, and he puts it away by the time I get the camera out!

Here's a glimpse, and I'll keep trying to capture his full beaming face!

Grandparents visit

My sister-in-law went a week overdue, so our "Sitka" family Christmas has been postponed a couple weeks. Brett's new cousin, Audrey, finally made her appearance on December 26th, at a healthy 9 lbs! She is my parent's 10th grandbaby, and Brett was only the newest member of the family for 10 days! We are all looking forward to meeting Audrey.

So, my parents came for the weekend to meet Number 9.