My brother, Pastor Dave, prayed a blessing over Lydia's life.
Every party needs a cake!Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Memorial Day
Lydia had a special day on Memorial Day. We had a party for her in our back yard. During the party, Bryan and I publicly made a commitment to God to bring her up in a faith-filled home. This ceremony is typically part of a church service, but our church is so big, we chose to have a more personal service with just a few family and friends.
My brother, Pastor Dave, prayed a blessing over Lydia's life.
Every party needs a cake!
My brother, Pastor Dave, prayed a blessing over Lydia's life. Every party needs a cake!
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Friday, May 22, 2009
Colorado
Bryan and I took a much needed vacation to Colorado a couple weeks ago. The kids stayed at Grandma and Grandpa Ardy's and did very well (or at least that's what they tell us!) Yes, I did leave my 5 month old baby for 5 days to spend some quality time with my husband! One thing I learned from my parents is you have to make your marriage a priority, even after you have kids. The kids will be outta the house in a mere 18 years, and hopefully Bryan will still be around and we will still know and love each other!
We managed to get Bryan's work to cover most of the expenses of the trip - the time share condo belongs to his company, and he won it in a drawing, the airline tickets were paid for with frequent flier miles from Bryan traveling on business, and we also stayed in a Marriot in downtown Denver with reward points from Bryan's business trips. So, all that was left was renting a car, food, and entertainment.
The getting there and returning was uneventful. I had not flown since the last time Bryan had racked up his miles, and that was before parenthood. I found myself a bit more nervous than usual on plane, realizing there was now a lot more to be lost.
We stayed our first night in Denver and went to Coors Stadium for a Colorado Rockies game. The stadium was so nice! But it was very cold and we were unprepared. We ended up leaving early. I know true fans of the game will suffer through cold and heat in an outdoor stadium, but I think all stadiums should have a retractable roof.
The next day we traveled up to the condo, going through Winter Park. When we have gone in the winter, this town has been packed with skiers, but it was REALLY dead. We had trouble just finding a place that was open for lunch!
On Sunday, we planned to go driving and hiking in Rocky Mountain National Park, but when we woke up to snow, we decided to just hang out at the condo most of the day. We did go to a hot sulfur springs spa, and that was very relaxing.
Monday we went to RMNP and did some hiking. Much of the park was still closed because of snowy roads, so our exploring was limited. We spent the afternoon shopping in a tourist trap sort of town right outside the park. Again, we were basically the only ones there, but many of the stores were open, and we were told it is a very busy place in the summer. So apparently we traveled during the "offest" season - between winter sports and summer sports! But it was nice to not have to deal with crowds or wait for service at restaurants.
Speaking of restaurants, Bryan was excited about trying some interesting new foods. One of the places we had planned to eat at wasn't open, but we did get to try "Rocky Mountain Oysters", I ate elk for the first time, and I think Bryan had wild bore sausage.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
eye update
Brett did very well at his doctor's appointment on Friday. Having to wrestled my son in my arms while they gassed him off to Lala Land was not one of my most joyful experiences of motherhood, but who ever said parenthood was always pleasant?
Brett's doctor confirmed that he does in fact have cataracts in both eyes. The good news is that it is a small amount at this time, and also that it is not metabolic, which would have been an indicator of other problems. We were advised that, while the cataracts is not going to go away, and will likely get worse over time, the risks of surgery out weigh the benefits, as he sees quite sufficiently. Our next step will just be to keep a close watch and continue frequent visits to the eye doctor (oh joy!). Brett is also near-sighted. So, looks like neither one of our kids have a very good chance of being free of corrective lenses!
Interestingly, cataracts in infants is very uncommon. Brett's doctor said there are probably 100 cases in the state of Minnesota. When he does have surgery, we will likely take him to the University, because they are more versed in the procedure.
Brett's doctor confirmed that he does in fact have cataracts in both eyes. The good news is that it is a small amount at this time, and also that it is not metabolic, which would have been an indicator of other problems. We were advised that, while the cataracts is not going to go away, and will likely get worse over time, the risks of surgery out weigh the benefits, as he sees quite sufficiently. Our next step will just be to keep a close watch and continue frequent visits to the eye doctor (oh joy!). Brett is also near-sighted. So, looks like neither one of our kids have a very good chance of being free of corrective lenses!
Interestingly, cataracts in infants is very uncommon. Brett's doctor said there are probably 100 cases in the state of Minnesota. When he does have surgery, we will likely take him to the University, because they are more versed in the procedure.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
the very last piece of paper
747 days after we started Brett's adoption, we finally received the very last piece of paper in the mail - Brett's Social Security Card! We've had Lydia's since she was a couple weeks old! So, now we can finally take Brett's piggy bank to the bank and open up a saving account.
In other news, Brett is going in to the surgery center tomorrow morning to be sedated for an eye exam. I'll update the blog when we learn something...
In other news, Brett is going in to the surgery center tomorrow morning to be sedated for an eye exam. I'll update the blog when we learn something...
Sunday, May 10, 2009
being mom
An Incomplete List of Things I Love about Being Mom
Kissing little toes.
Having an excuse to sing silly songs with actions.
Rediscovering the world through the eyes of my child - do you know how fascinating it is to look at things upside down?
When Brett crawls up in my lap with a book.
Pushing my kid on a swing for a half hour on a warm Tuesday afternoon, and not caring about the pile of laundry at home.
Nursing.
Snuggling in bed with Lydia as I enjoy just one more hour of sleep.
Bedtime stories, songs, prayers, and cuddles.
Bedtime.
Going for walks.
Parties and cakes.
Continuing holiday traditions and creating some new ones.
Cute outfits.
Being concerned about the "footprint" I'm leaving behind because I want my children to have a healthy earth to raise their children.
Bathtime.
Having the joy of sharing Jesus' love with them.
Playing in the sandbox.
The perplexed looks I get when pushing my two Beauties in the stroller together anywhere in public...
Rocking Lydia to sleep whenever I get the chance.
Sharing parenting with an amazing Dad.
First steps, first words, first rollovers and other milestones.
Having a "distraction" in social situations where I would otherwise have to be mingling!
Finally appreciating the value of vegetables.
The zoo, the library, and other outings.
Brett's laughter and Lydia's gleaming smile.
Nervously watching Brett dive head first down the big slide.
Playing with legos.
Going to "work" in my slippers.
Kissing little toes.
Having an excuse to sing silly songs with actions.
Rediscovering the world through the eyes of my child - do you know how fascinating it is to look at things upside down?
When Brett crawls up in my lap with a book.
Pushing my kid on a swing for a half hour on a warm Tuesday afternoon, and not caring about the pile of laundry at home.
Nursing.
Snuggling in bed with Lydia as I enjoy just one more hour of sleep.
Bedtime stories, songs, prayers, and cuddles.
Bedtime.
Going for walks.
Parties and cakes.
Continuing holiday traditions and creating some new ones.
Cute outfits.
Being concerned about the "footprint" I'm leaving behind because I want my children to have a healthy earth to raise their children.
Bathtime.
Having the joy of sharing Jesus' love with them.
Playing in the sandbox.
The perplexed looks I get when pushing my two Beauties in the stroller together anywhere in public...
Rocking Lydia to sleep whenever I get the chance.
Sharing parenting with an amazing Dad.
First steps, first words, first rollovers and other milestones.
Having a "distraction" in social situations where I would otherwise have to be mingling!
Finally appreciating the value of vegetables.
The zoo, the library, and other outings.
Brett's laughter and Lydia's gleaming smile.
Nervously watching Brett dive head first down the big slide.
Playing with legos.
Going to "work" in my slippers.
"My mother was the making of me. She was so true, so sure of me, and I felt like I had someone to live for..."
-Thomas Edison
Happy Mother's Day!
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Birthmother's Day
The day before Mother's Day has been celebrated as Birthmother's Day by adoptive families and birthmothers since 1990. While it might not be as commercialized as much as Mother's Day, to many adoptive families, it is a day to honor the mothers who gave birth to their children.
I have recently started watching "The Locator" on the WE network. On the show, The Locator reunites families with their lost loved ones. Quite often, the separation is related to an adoption. It may be someone searching for a sibling after they had been separated through foster care as children. But other times it is an adult child looking for his or her birthmother or a birthmother looking for the child she placed for adoption. I'm always interested to see the adult child's view of his or her adoption and birthmother. Many have a great respect and appreciation for the decision that was made, but still just need to hear "why?" directly from their first mother.
I pray that my son will grow to understand that the decision his birthmother made was out of love for him... that she wanted him to have a great life. I often hear people say, "How could anybody give up a child?" It is hard for me to respond, because I could never imagine not having both of my children. But in my mind it is a decision that looks beyond the bond of birth and adorableness of babyhood. It sacrifices the joys of parenthood because she realizes the challenges are just too great for this child to endure with her. It selflessly and humbly recognizes that this child she loves so much can have a better life in a different family. I honestly feel that a woman who finds herself in a crisis pregnancy and chooses not to abort and not to parent is making the most courageous choice of all. Choosing to parent would likely cause heartache for the child and choosing to abort would end a life. But choosing to go through the pains of pregnancy, the ridicule of others, the throws of labor, and the loss of a child-all because she has the child's best interests at heart- now that has got to be one very strong woman!
I wonder if Brett's birthmother held him to say "goodbye", or if it was just too painful. I pray she is at peace with the decision she made. I love her because she gave me the most wonderful gift, and because she gave her son the best she could, knowing her limitations. And so today and everyday, I honor Ms. April, because she is so deserving to be honored. I hope someday I will have the opportunity to tell her in person.
I have recently started watching "The Locator" on the WE network. On the show, The Locator reunites families with their lost loved ones. Quite often, the separation is related to an adoption. It may be someone searching for a sibling after they had been separated through foster care as children. But other times it is an adult child looking for his or her birthmother or a birthmother looking for the child she placed for adoption. I'm always interested to see the adult child's view of his or her adoption and birthmother. Many have a great respect and appreciation for the decision that was made, but still just need to hear "why?" directly from their first mother.
I pray that my son will grow to understand that the decision his birthmother made was out of love for him... that she wanted him to have a great life. I often hear people say, "How could anybody give up a child?" It is hard for me to respond, because I could never imagine not having both of my children. But in my mind it is a decision that looks beyond the bond of birth and adorableness of babyhood. It sacrifices the joys of parenthood because she realizes the challenges are just too great for this child to endure with her. It selflessly and humbly recognizes that this child she loves so much can have a better life in a different family. I honestly feel that a woman who finds herself in a crisis pregnancy and chooses not to abort and not to parent is making the most courageous choice of all. Choosing to parent would likely cause heartache for the child and choosing to abort would end a life. But choosing to go through the pains of pregnancy, the ridicule of others, the throws of labor, and the loss of a child-all because she has the child's best interests at heart- now that has got to be one very strong woman!
I wonder if Brett's birthmother held him to say "goodbye", or if it was just too painful. I pray she is at peace with the decision she made. I love her because she gave me the most wonderful gift, and because she gave her son the best she could, knowing her limitations. And so today and everyday, I honor Ms. April, because she is so deserving to be honored. I hope someday I will have the opportunity to tell her in person.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Monday, May 4, 2009
Saturday, May 2, 2009
doctor's orders
The kids are finally loaded in the car and ready to go. There are very small segments of the day where no one is napping or eating that we can get errands run. I start the car and look at the clock. 1pm. I have exactly one hour before Lydia melts down because she is suddenly starving to death. That should be enough time to run to Target, a half mile from home, to get her prescription and a few other things, shouldn't it? For some reason, I am doubtful.
I pull into the Target parking lot, park near a cart return, load the kids into a cart, and find my way back to the pharmacy by 1:20. Forty minutes to go. The pharmacist, who has gotten to know us well over the last few months, had been kind enough to call me this morning to ask when I'd be by to pick up Lydia's medicine, so it should be ready for me, right? Nope. Check back in 20-30 minutes. I'm not surprised, but frustrated. Brett hates being contained in a shopping cart. I take my time selecting a few necessities, letting Brett play with them, even though it means picking them up off the floor over and over again. Back at the pharmacy counter at exactly 1:45. The prescription is handed to me a few minutes later. Lydia is winding up. Getting this prescription filled has been quite an ordeal, so I decide to check it before I leave. The label says, "Take 1 ml twice daily". Wrong dose. I'm screaming inside.
You see, for a month now, since Lydia's 4 month check-up where her doctor increased her dosage, I've been trying to get this prescription. Our insurance wanted a prior authorization before they would pay for it. According to the pharmacy, prior auths can take up to 14 days. Apparently it doesn't matter to the insurance company that Lydia needs her medicine every day and I'm only allowed to get a 30 day supply of the prescription filled exactly every 30 days. The pharmacist had gotten me a 14 day supply of the new dose by refilling an old prescription that would have been a 30 day supply. I had been calling the pharmacy every couple days to see if the prior auth had gone through, and finally was told it had, but I couldn't get it filled until April 29th. When I called to get it filled on the 29th (9 days after Lydia ran out of her rationed medicine), I was told the guy who told me it was authorized was wrong, and it hadn't been authorized. So, on the 30th, I spent an hour on the phone with our pharmacy, clinic, and insurance, trying to figure out who had dropped the ball. The clinic called me late in the day and told me everything had been cleared and I could get the prescription filled.
So, here we are, 10 minutes until Lydia blows, and I just paid yet another co-pay for a prescription dosage that had actually never been prescribed. I go to the counter, explain the situation AGAIN, and after a few minutes of scrambling, I am told they will have to talk to the prescribing doctor to verify the dosage and would I like to wait around for it...At this point Lydia is crying in my arms and Brett is grabbing and throwing anything in reach. The pharmacist did not need a response from me. He told me he'd call when it is straightened out.
At 2:05, we leave the store with a 30 day, but actually 15 day supply of medicine. Lydia is screaming. I'm getting looks of sympathy from onlookers. I load the kids back into the car and head home. While the pharmacy and clinic know us by name, our insurance knows us by claim number. I have learned that while my kids are my world, we're their only true advocates. And if I have to battle this hard for a $60 prescription to be covered, I dread the day all Brett's eye bills are assigned a claim number and cross the desk of a person who's job it is to save the insurance company money. Don't get me wrong - I am so thankful for our insurance - it just angers me when they pick and choose what they want to pay for, as if they know the best treatment for our children.
I didn't wait by the phone for the pharmacist to call me.
I pull into the Target parking lot, park near a cart return, load the kids into a cart, and find my way back to the pharmacy by 1:20. Forty minutes to go. The pharmacist, who has gotten to know us well over the last few months, had been kind enough to call me this morning to ask when I'd be by to pick up Lydia's medicine, so it should be ready for me, right? Nope. Check back in 20-30 minutes. I'm not surprised, but frustrated. Brett hates being contained in a shopping cart. I take my time selecting a few necessities, letting Brett play with them, even though it means picking them up off the floor over and over again. Back at the pharmacy counter at exactly 1:45. The prescription is handed to me a few minutes later. Lydia is winding up. Getting this prescription filled has been quite an ordeal, so I decide to check it before I leave. The label says, "Take 1 ml twice daily". Wrong dose. I'm screaming inside.
You see, for a month now, since Lydia's 4 month check-up where her doctor increased her dosage, I've been trying to get this prescription. Our insurance wanted a prior authorization before they would pay for it. According to the pharmacy, prior auths can take up to 14 days. Apparently it doesn't matter to the insurance company that Lydia needs her medicine every day and I'm only allowed to get a 30 day supply of the prescription filled exactly every 30 days. The pharmacist had gotten me a 14 day supply of the new dose by refilling an old prescription that would have been a 30 day supply. I had been calling the pharmacy every couple days to see if the prior auth had gone through, and finally was told it had, but I couldn't get it filled until April 29th. When I called to get it filled on the 29th (9 days after Lydia ran out of her rationed medicine), I was told the guy who told me it was authorized was wrong, and it hadn't been authorized. So, on the 30th, I spent an hour on the phone with our pharmacy, clinic, and insurance, trying to figure out who had dropped the ball. The clinic called me late in the day and told me everything had been cleared and I could get the prescription filled.
So, here we are, 10 minutes until Lydia blows, and I just paid yet another co-pay for a prescription dosage that had actually never been prescribed. I go to the counter, explain the situation AGAIN, and after a few minutes of scrambling, I am told they will have to talk to the prescribing doctor to verify the dosage and would I like to wait around for it...At this point Lydia is crying in my arms and Brett is grabbing and throwing anything in reach. The pharmacist did not need a response from me. He told me he'd call when it is straightened out.
At 2:05, we leave the store with a 30 day, but actually 15 day supply of medicine. Lydia is screaming. I'm getting looks of sympathy from onlookers. I load the kids back into the car and head home. While the pharmacy and clinic know us by name, our insurance knows us by claim number. I have learned that while my kids are my world, we're their only true advocates. And if I have to battle this hard for a $60 prescription to be covered, I dread the day all Brett's eye bills are assigned a claim number and cross the desk of a person who's job it is to save the insurance company money. Don't get me wrong - I am so thankful for our insurance - it just angers me when they pick and choose what they want to pay for, as if they know the best treatment for our children.
I didn't wait by the phone for the pharmacist to call me.
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