pumpkins part three

Happy Halloween

from our three little pumpkins

here we are

This is my 200th post. Two hundred posts ago, 2.5 years ago, we announced that we were adopting our first child. If we had only known then.......

"...Test me in this," says the Lord Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it." Malachi 3:10

For my 200th post, I've decided to summarize how we got here. Bear with me if you are a regular reader of our blog, much of what is included has been shared, but I promise to include maybe a few interesting tid-bits that you haven't heard before.

I think my earliest introduction to adoption was in the fifth grade when I met a girl named Ruth, who quickly became my "BFF". She had been adopted from India as an infant. Her family was, and is, so solid - solid in their faith and solid as a family unit. Knowing them has been a real blessing to me, and set a positive impression about adoption in my heart.

Around age 20, I was attending a Bible college on the outskirts of Dallas. I learned a lot during my time there. Mostly outside of the classroom. I grew immensely in my faith and in my awareness of people hurting- next door and around the world. While I was there, God placed an inner desire in my heart to adopt, and as I moved on to grad school in Minnesota, I was sure I would mother children not born to me.

I met Bryan via a christian online dating website the summer before I started grad school. He agreed to building family through adoption, and I agreed to marry him! I'm so glad God placed just the right man in my life. Not only is he extremely loyal -to his faith, his family, his Packers, but he is an honest, hard working, intelligent man. He is always thinking of ways he can serve those around him. And, while sometimes it comes in the form of conflict, he balances me out in a lot of ways.

I have learned through experience that when you leave the gory details out of a story, people make up their own. So, here are the gory details. It's not that we couldn't get pregnant, just that we didn't. (Obvious, now.) We tried for a little over a year - which seems like a long time to couples who get pregnant on the first try, but not long at all to couples who have undergone years of treatment for infertility. We were never given a clear answer as to why we weren't getting pregnant, nor were we given any sort of "your doomed" prognosis. It stopped being fun, so we decided to pursue our desire to adopt. The part Bryan and I chuckle about now is we will probably never know if it was a fluke that we didn't get pregnant, or if it was a fluke that we did! And, wholeheartedly, it doesn't matter to either of us.

We are just so grateful for our three little miracles.

We had been praying, saving money, and researching adoption for nearly a year when we turned our application for a home study in to Summit Adoption Home Studies on April 25, 2007. We were skittish about this trend of "open adoptions" and believed a lot of myths out there, so we turned our hearts towards international adoption - and more specifically - Africa - and more specifically - Liberia. We completed our home study, turned it in to the placement agency that we intended to work with, paid a bunch of money, and even got permission from the US government to bring an immigrant into the country. And that is when we started to see very dark clouds moving in. It was looking like adoptions in Liberia were going to be shut down, so we bailed.

And adoptions have shut down. It is a very sad situation. I still follow the blog of a lady who started the adoption process about the same time as us. They have two boys...in Liberia. They have lots of pictures of their boys; they have even gone to visit them a couple times. But they can't bring their boys home. It has been over two years. I can't imagine missing 2 years of my children's life!

So, we explored our options. There was Ethiopia that was going pretty strong at the time. But we have good friends who introduced us to the reality of domestic minority adoption - that healthy black babies were considered "hard-to-place". We updated our home study in October 2007, and on November 1, working with An Open Door in Georgia, we officially started waiting for "the call".

Typically, in a domestic adoption, you wait for an expectant mother to choose you from a pool of families hoping to adopt, then you wait for her to give birth, then you wait for the revocation period to pass, and then you get your baby.

Not so with us! We learned about Brett on December 14th and on December 15th, we were on our way to meet him. Brett's birth mother did not have a plan in place prior to giving birth, nor did she elect to choose a family for her baby. Therefore, the baby was presented to the family (us) who had been waiting to adopt an African American boy the longest --only 6 weeks.

Brett Theodore was placed in our arms December 17th, 2007, less than 9 months after we had started our adoption journey. He was 15 days old. He has brought a smile to my face every day since. He is content, peace-loving, tenderhearted, and clever. While we are not extremely proud of our reason behind choosing "Brett" as his first name, his middle name meaning "God's gift" could not be more fitting.

Three and a half months later, Bryan got the surprise of his life on his 30th birthday. I was pregnant with #2.

Lydia June was born on November 28th, 2008, the day after Thanksgiving, and four days shy of Brett's 1st birthday. I went overdue about a week, making it the longest we have "expected" any of our children! Lydia has been the blessing - the little girl - we didn't know we could adore so much! Her little laugh is just irresistible! Named after her great-grandmother, we pray that she will have the same servant's heart. We already know she is determined - another trait of my grandmother's!

And just when we start to get into the swing of things...not even a month after Lydia starts sleeping in her crib, and only a couple weeks after I had finally gotten the kids to nap simultaneously, the phone rings...

While we were enjoying a family vacation in Wisconsin, Brett's birth mother gave birth to another baby boy and decided to place him for adoption. An Open Door contacted us to see if we would open our hearts to another son. I can't say it was an instant "Yes". It actually took us six days to overcome our weariness of having another newborn after not even fully recovering from the last one. But through much prayer, many people speaking into our lives, and a number of not-so-random circumstances (the big one being that with the busyness of summer, we had neglected to make that large extra payment on our mortgage we had planned to do with our big tax refund -due to Brett's Adoption Credit- and therefore just had the money sitting in our liquid savings account) we came to recognize that this baby boy was our third miracle from God.

The following Sunday's sermon was about being open to interruptions in our lives.

Reginald David was placed in our arms on August 26, 2009, when he was 20 days old. If you count from the day we said "yes" to the day Reggie was in our arms, we were "expecting" Reggie for 12 days. Reggie is named after Reggie White, Packer's Hall-of-Famer Defensive End, and also an ordained minister, who died an untimely death at the age of 55. (Therefore, his legancy is secure.) David means "beloved" and is Bryan's late Grandfather's name, and also my Dad's name, and also my brother's name. Reggie has been home for only two months, but it seems like he just belongs here. We haven't questioned our decision for a second. Yes, he was an interruption, but we have learned that some of God's greatest gifts come in the form of interruptions. We sure are happy we didn't miss out on this one!
Since the beginning of our blog, I have had Proverbs 16:9 "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps" in the margin. We didn't know what God had in store for us 2.5 years ago, but we are overjoyed with where we are and how we got here!

It is just as we had hoped, but not at all as we had planned.

confessions of a busy mom

Life with three is certainly a challenge, and it is all-consuming. It's a juggling act, and at least once or twice a day all the balls are dropped and shear chaos overruns the house. I've had to throw my ideals out, and come to terms with the reality that my kids will grow up eating oreos instead of fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies.

Here are some random confessions of the reality to motherhood for me:

With the exception of dirty diapers and rags, sorting laundry is optional. Everything gets washed on cold.

I let my kids watch TV. Sometimes even as a babysitter.

On the crazy days, breakfast and lunch get cleaned up at the same time - during Brett's nap in the afternoon.

Reggie drinks his bottles warm, cold, and anywhere in between.

I have been known to close the door on a mess (broken glass, overturned potted plant...) to be dealt with hours later.

Because Brett loves to read so much, I put a few books in his crib with him, so he can read them when he wakes up.

At least once a week, I will put the kids in their associated containment seats and wash my hair in the kitchen sink (it's quick and I can still hear them if there's a crisis). My mom did this when I was a kid, but I didn't realize it at the time that she would have much preferred a nice long shower or bath.

I pretend not to notice a lot of behavior that I'm not crazy about. I think it's more important to be very consistent about a few rules (regarding safety) than inconsistent about a lot of things that really aren't that critical.

When in a pinch, leftover minute rice, corn, and shredded cheese mixed together is "lunch". (And Brett ate every bite!)

I'm never too busy to read or play with my kids. Well, sometimes I am, but I will definite choose it over vacuuming.

I caught Brett just before he rode Reggie's bumbo down the stairs.


I'm the "Worst Mother Ever" moments. I think every mom has a few. I have a lot. Yesterday was no exception. I had ventured out with the kids to purchase a Little Tikes slide from a craigslister in Shakopee - about a 45 minute drive in busy city traffic. It was a bit hectic packing up all the kids and the slide and while putting Lydia in her car seat, I was distracted by the fact that Brett had the opportunity to run into the street, even though there were no cars in sight. About a half hour into our drive back home, I look into my little "see what your kids are doing behind you" mirror, and I see Lydia peeking back at me. It took me about .3 seconds to process this information (that Lydia, being both under 20 lbs and under one year old, should be facing backward, and, when properly restrained, not have the ability to look towards the front of the car). Currently driving on an 8 lane interstate at about 65mph, I freaked out! I cringed as semis buzzed by me and watched as Lydia happily bounced around with her new-found freedom. It was the longest 2 minutes of my life before I could safely pull off the interstate to buckle her properly.

I think my kids have extra guardian angels surrounding them!

pumpkins part two

pumpkins part one

I think we have a new family tradition - picking out pumpkins at a local pumpkin farm!This one, Daddy!

Lydia enjoyed the pumpkin mountain!

So did Brett.

They still need to work on posing for pictures.

Reggie was there, too -wrapped up snug as a bug in Momma's coat! (I don't think he'll remember it.)

And one more picture just for fun. Babies in picture are the actual size that they appear!

Reggie is 2 months old!

As you can see he has a beautiful smile! We are seeing it more and more often as he becomes more aware of the world around him. He is also starting to coo. He is sleeping pretty good - maybe 18 hours a day - and is usually only up once or twice during the night. His favorite things to do are eat and be held.

At his 2 month check-up, he weighed in at 14 lbs. 4 oz. (95th percentile) and his height is 24.25 in. (90th percentile). He has more than doubled his birth weight and weighs more than Lydia did at her 9 month check-up! And Brett weighed 15 lbs at his 4 month check-up!

In adoption news, we had our first post-placement visit with our social worker on Monday and were able to convince her we have everything under control around here.

We are thoroughly enjoying getting to know Reggie and feel so blessed to have him be a part of our family!

renewed commitment

After spending $130 on disposable diapers during the month of September (about a 6 week supply for 3 kids, if I use no cloth diapers), I have renewed my commitment to cloth diapering. And truly, the bags and bags of diapers that go into the dumpster really do bug me.

Before Reggie came along, I was using cloth diapers on Lydia probably 80% of daytime hours (I always use disposable at night). Brett grew out of my favorite "one-size through potty training" variety about 6 months ago. I have a few lesser-liked options for him, but was probably consistently only using an average of 1-2 cloth diapers a day with him.

With Lydia being so small, I didn't feel it was worth the investment of purchasing larger-size cloth diapers for Brett. Good ones that I like run about $16-18 each. Multiply that by maybe 12 and you're investing over $200 on diapers that potentially only one child will wear for hopefully only for a year or so. In hindsight, I wish I had made the investment a while back, because at the rate Reggie is growing, I will need larger diapers for him as well.

What I did not anticipate when I made the decision to primarily cloth diaper my children was that I would have three children in diapers at once. I figured I would invest the money in a stash of diapers suited for one child (12-16 to wash every 2-3 days) and basically that would diaper all my children.

So, do I scrap the idea? Do I just cloth diaper one of three children? Or do I bite the bullet and invest in a huge stash of diapers - enough to "cover" all three. While I don't think I will ever have a nice supply of 45ish of my favorite diapers, I'm going to try to work my way up to 10 suitable diapers per child. I purchased 2 brand new of my favorites for Reggie, 3 gentle used diapers that would work for Brett, and a couple gently used "one-size"types for Lydia.

Yesterday was my trial run. I cloth diapered all three kids all day with the exception of Brett during his nap, and at the end of the day, I had one diaper per child left.

So I already average 2 loads of laundry a day. Do I really want to wash a load of diapers every day? I'm hoping to find some more bargains.