2011

The year 2011 will be remembered as:

•  The year Reggie officially passed up Lydia in weight and height.
•  The year Lydia finally grew some hair.
•  The year Brett really started talking.
•  The year I shifted from using coupons to being a couponer.
•  The year Bryan became a shareholder for the Packer's.
•  The year we moved to the big, big house.
•  The year we became landlords by default. 
•  The year Lydia decided she was a princess.
•  The year Reggie decided everything round is a ball and everything rectangular-shaped is a bat, or a hockey stick.
•  The year Brett started preschool.
•  The year Bryan bought his first John Deere.
•  The year the TV got axed from our home's main living level.  If you're keeping track, that's the second one about me. ; )

I'm not a big fan of resolutions, but here are some goals I hope to work on in 2012:

• I want to learn to make more of our breads and soups from scratch.
• I want to plant a vegetable garden.
• I want to be intentional about parenting with values through teaching and application...and maybe even blog about it.

we're all home for Christmas

We're waking tonight in a place that we live

even more than we usually do

And although we know we have no control

We're still let down

We're all home for Christmas

So far the count is two

They have coughs and flu-like symptoms

With "presents" round the house

Christmas Eve will find us

With a rug shampooer

We're all home for Christmas

Please tell me it's a dream.



the spirit of christmas

I love Christmas with little ones.

This year was the first time we have pulled out our big tree since they arrived. (For the last three years, we set up a small tree in the porch where toddlers could not get to it, but this house doesn't have a porch!)  The tree is sparsely decorated, with breakable ornaments packed away and kid-made ornaments placed heavily right at their eye level.  And, when we weren't looking, a little elf snuck into our house and contributed duplo legos, play-food french fries, and balls to the decor on our tree!

The tree is not the only evidence of children at play in our home.  The kids had their own interpretation of the manger scene as well. 

And Bryan had to add some nails to make room for all the stockings on the mantle.

The spirit of Christmas is so wildly revealed in children.  I saw it in Reggie's eyes when I told him about Santa filling his stocking - the one with the big "R" on it. 

And in Brett's uncontained excitement about picking out any cookie he wanted from Mrs. Clauses' Bakery.

It is found in their delight in opening a card or gift, but also in their eagerness to give.

 
The kids cannot stop talking about how they saw Frosty at the winter wonderland (despite that we haven't seen more than a few flakes of snow in weeks.)  Or that they got to take their first train ride with MeeMaw and Papa to go to the Holidazzle Parade, where they saw the Three Little Pigs all in lights!

I saw it in Lydia's search through the zip-lock bag of nativity figures.  She knew just the one she wanted the honor of placing in the stable - baby Jesus.

And with all the making and eating of sweets and treats - oh what a delight!

Yes, it is such a blissful time for kids  - and I love having the pleasure of sharing it with mine.  For me, the memories I will cherish are of my two-year-old telling me, "I yike [like] shepherds", and my three-year-old using every color in the box to color her manger scene- starting with a pink star, and my four-year-old busting out his terribly off-tune version of "Silent Night".  He sounds like an angel to me! 

I feel this constant tug-of-war between what our society has made Christmas to be and living out the true spirit of Christmas.  People say Christmas is about the children.  Well, it's about one child.  The Christ-child.  As a parent, I want to give my children the world. 

God gave the world His child.

reggie's mom

Reggie's mom is probably not unlike most moms of two-year-olds, although she has never had one quite like Reggie.

Reggie's mom starts out most days with Reggie climbing into bed with her around 6 or 7am.  She cherishes this time, because she knows it is the last time he will be still for the rest of the day.

On Wednesday's, Reggie's mom sees his brother off to school, and loads him and Lydia up to go to the grocery store.

Not that Reggie is actually a willing participant in this process.  Undoubtedly, Reggie will fight buckles, cry about dropping his ball in the car and not being able to reach it, cry about sitting in the shopping cart, take his shoes off and throw them into the isle - where some unsuspecting woman will nearly trip over it- and, if Reggie's mom isn't on the ball, he will certainly take the opportunity to clear a shelf or two.  All the while, he will consistently remind his mom that he gets a cookie for "being good".

Today, Reggie's mom decided to try taking him and Lydia to the library story time after the grocery store.  Maybe, just maybe, Reggie has matured since the last attempt... 

If it were not for the fact that Lydia was having a delightful time, Reggie's mom would have bailed after 10 minutes.  Instead, she desperately tried to engage him, keep him from disrupting the other children, and had to leave Lydia to lure Reggie back into the story time room...a few times.  She pretended not to notice the other moms staring at her.  Brett's mom has taught her a thing or two about pride.

Reggie's mom survived story time.  But hurry!  It was time to pick up Brett from school for his speech therapy.  At Brett's school, Reggie's mom buckled Lydia into her ergo backpack carrier- because it was her "turn"-and pleaded with Reggie to stay close to her.  She even let him take his favorite packers football with him. It was an attempt to keep him from thinking about how fun it is to have Mom chase after him through the school.

It didn't work.  Reggie's mom ended up carrying him, along with Lydia attached to her back, and holding Brett's hand through the parking lot back to the car.

This is where things took a turn for the worse.  When Reggie's mom put him down to unlock the door, Reggie and his football took a spill.  Reggie bit his lip and was bleeding- like cuts in the mouth always bleed.  Reggie's favorite football disappeared.  Mass hysteria ensued.

Once Reggie had calmed and everyone was buckled in their seats, Reggie's mom set out to look for the football.  Did I mention it was raining?  The football was stuck under the car where it could not be reached.  "No problem, I'll just back up the car a little," thought Reggie's mom.  So she did, but the football went a-rolling down the hill.  Reggie, of coarse, was screaming at the thought of leaving his beloved football behind.

Brett arrived at therapy ten minutes late, his mom with wet hair and muddy knees and brother with dried tears on his face and football in hand.  After a few minutes, Reggie was bouncing around the waiting room and tossing his football in the air.  He leaped into his mom's lap and announced, "I okay now, Mom!" 

It may have been an accident, or maybe on purpose, but Reggie's football landed in the garbage can.  When he went to get it out, Reggie discovered the shavings from an electric pencil sharper.  Reggie's mom tried to clean it up, or at least make the mess less noticeable.

Brett's therapy session ended and the therapist gave his mom a summary of what they had worked on.  Reggie's mom tried to keep a straight face when she saw that - behind the therapist's back - Reggie was rolling on the floor right where he had spilled the pencil shavings.  It stuck like velcro to him from head to toe.

Reggie's mom is probably not unlike most moms of two-year-olds, although she has never had one quite like Reggie.

I'm so thankful I'm Reggie's mom.

When Reggie found this hat in a box of decorations, he put it on and declared, "My is Santa!"

rocket ships and princesses

Because our family lives out of town, we have one combined birthday party for Brett and Lydia.  Or maybe I should say, two parties at the same time, since they had very different ideas for a theme this year!  When they got up in the morning, I had our bar stools decorated - one as a "throne" and the other as a rocket ship.  The special chairs were a big hit!

We had crafts and games related to both themes and decorated the formal living room very "princess" and the informal living room "space". 

Cake for Brett; brownie pops for Lydia!

When I asked Brett what his favorite part of the party was, he told me "eating".

Lydia was actually a little overwhelmed by all the excitement.  She had picked out a special "princess dress" but then refused to wear it, and she was unusually quiet during the party.  She did tell me that she enjoyed making the crowns, though.

Brett with his new guitar.

Silly Daddy

The Princess feeling much more like herself as the party was winding down.

This party was "out of this world" for Brett!

(I love motherhood.)

Happy 4th Birthday, Brett!

This post is 2 days late - we were too busy celebrating!

I will always remember the student I was meeting with when I got a call from our adoption agency.  And how, when I called back 15 minutes later, the office was closed for the day.  After a sleepless night, I waited until exactly 8:01am to call again, hoping this was THE call we had been waiting for.  Three days later, when Brett was 15 days old, he was placed in our arms. 

At 13 months old, Brett was busy, easy-going, happy, and a big brother!

And at almost 2 years, he was the oldest of 3 little pumpkins.

Here is Brett sporting his first pair of glasses when he was 27 months old.

The packer-backer on his 3rd birthday.

First day of preschool February 2011.

Brett has a love for all things music.

And a sense of adventure.

He has a special bond with his daddy.

Brett is thoughtful and giving.







Which is one of the reasons he's such a great big brother!

Happy 4th birthday, Brett!

Happy Birthday, Lydia!

Three years ago, on Thanksgiving Day, Bryan pulled the turkey out of the oven, helped me into my unbuttonable coat and off to the hospital we went! Lydia did not make her grand entrance into the world until the next day at 4:08pm. And she made sure everybody knew about it.

At 9 months, she was already the middle child, but she did not have to work hard to keep us wrapped around her petite pinkie finger.

By 18 months, we were sure of her ambitious desire to learn and discover.

She went through a season where she loved everything Sesame Street, so for her 2nd birthday, she had an Oscar cake.

Our little girly girl was in full bloom by 26 months!

Lydia made her debut as a gymnast in February.

And at 2.5, she mastered tricycling.

Potty learning was her next major achievement!

This fall, Lydia has discovered the world of make-believe.  Pretending she is a mommy or a princess.

But she will always be our little Peanut. 

Happy 3rd Birthday, Lydia!

national adoption day

Congratulations to all the kids who officially joined their forever families today!

(And to their parents.)

caught being good

Guess how long it lasted...

"what are YOU thankful for?"

This month, we've been making a point to talk about what we are thankful for around the dinner table.  Brett and Lydia enjoy it, and, now that we've done it a few times, usually bring it up.  They are always thankful for important people in their lives like each other or Grandma or Papa.

I'm not sure if Reggie quite understands, or maybe he's just really thankful for elephants, because that is what he has said every night for the last 16 nights.

Until tonight, when he caught us all off guard, and was thankful for horses.

adoption: a father's perspective

I'm excited to have my first ever "guest blogger" - my husband! I asked him to share some thoughts about being an adoptive dad, and here is what he has to say, unedited.

Daddy with his kiddos - Fall 2011

"Joy asked me to write a few things for the blog in honor of National Adoption Awareness Month.
Because I don’t exactly consider myself a “wordsmith”, and because I need specific assignments to
satisfy my engineering mentality, she gave me a few ideas to get me going (I know she’s rolling her eyes at how I am exactly answering her questions instead of coming up with something on my own).

What was the adoption process like for you? – I have the handicap of having a short memory when it comes to remembering things like feelings, emotions, etc. I can’t exactly remember what my thoughts were along our process – things just sort of seemed to happen, and they seemed to feel “right”. I do specifically recall that I didn’t have a whole lot of anxiousness or “longing” while we were in the process of waiting for Brett. The whole thing didn’t seem real to me until we actually had Brett in our arms. I can’t say whether or not that was a specific “adoption” response, or, since Brett was our first, just a response to children in general. As far as Reggie is concerned, it seems a little comical to even call it an adoption “process”. He caught us all by surprise, and there wasn’t really any time for deep thought. I know we did really have to think for a couple days how this would change our family, but in reality, it wasn’t even a decision – Reggie was ours from the day we got the call.

Did you have any fears/reservations about building our family through adoption? – I don’t think I’d
classify anything I felt as “fears”, but I did think about how us as a multi-cultural family would ultimately affect our sons. I thought about whether or not we’d be able to give them the experiences they would need to grow into adult African-American men. But whenever I thought about that, I always felt that we would be giving them the best possible upbringing that we could, and that somehow, God would use that in the right way as the boys got older. I don’t really concern myself with how others think about me or my family when they see us – I’m only concerned with giving my boys (and Lydia) the love and teaching they need to be successful as adults.

What was it like to meet Brett and Reggie for the first time? How has bonding been? Any different
from Lydia? – I really can’t say that any of my experiences in that regard have been influenced by the
fact that our boys are adopted and Lydia is biological. They’re all just my kids. Brett, has a special place with me because he’s the first. Lydia was really tough at first, not because of how she came into our family, but because she was a “challenging” baby. I’m sure that no matter how hard we try, Reggie will have the “poor me” youngest child syndrome, but I know I try to be conscious of that. It might not sound as “special” as some would put it, but meeting all three for the first time was sort of the same –“There’s my kid. That’s cool. Let’s get to work.” Brett was a little different because he was the first. You could probably throw in there, “Oh boy, we don’t get to have any time to ourselves for a while”.  I’ve bonded differently, but equally, with all three – and it doesn’t feel like adoption has made it easier or harder.

Proud Father with Reggie, August 2009

Have your beliefs about adoption remained the same or changed? – I think they’ve changed. I can’t
remember having a huge emotional investment in adoption when we started the process – that was
more of Joy’s thing. Now, as I’ve seen how we’ve built our family, and how it feels completely natural, I would highly recommend adoption to anyone who asked. There’s a huge need for matching up kids with families who will love them, and that seems like the best route for building a family to me.

How do you see God’s grace working in our lives as it relates to adoption? Has God “shown” you
anything through our experience in adoption? – The biggest place I’ve seen God’s grace doesn’t really relate to adoption – it’s in His helping us survive three children so close together! I do feel that God has brought our different-looking family together for a reason, and I’m confident He will give us the skills and the strength to bring glory to Him through our experiences. The biggest thing God has shown me through adoption is that it absolutely does not require a “biological” event to feel like a family. My kids are my kids no matter how they got here, and I know that’s because of God working in my heart and mind."

Daddy with Brett - Summer 2011

adoption celebration

I heard about an adoption celebration near us over the weekend, so we decided to check it out.  It was in the afternoon when the kids are usually napping, so Bryan stayed home with Reggie and Lydia, and I just took Brett.  We had a lot of fun!  It was carnival-like, with little games and prizes.  There was a firetruck for the kids to explore, crafts, and face painting.  Brett's favorite part was the petting zoo and riding the pony.  I thought it was fun to get TC's (Twin's Baseball mascot) autograph - and I enjoyed spending some quality time celebrating adoption with my son!  We will definitely try to go again next year.