Happy Birthday, Lydia!

Three years ago, on Thanksgiving Day, Bryan pulled the turkey out of the oven, helped me into my unbuttonable coat and off to the hospital we went! Lydia did not make her grand entrance into the world until the next day at 4:08pm. And she made sure everybody knew about it.

At 9 months, she was already the middle child, but she did not have to work hard to keep us wrapped around her petite pinkie finger.

By 18 months, we were sure of her ambitious desire to learn and discover.

She went through a season where she loved everything Sesame Street, so for her 2nd birthday, she had an Oscar cake.

Our little girly girl was in full bloom by 26 months!

Lydia made her debut as a gymnast in February.

And at 2.5, she mastered tricycling.

Potty learning was her next major achievement!

This fall, Lydia has discovered the world of make-believe.  Pretending she is a mommy or a princess.

But she will always be our little Peanut. 

Happy 3rd Birthday, Lydia!

national adoption day

Congratulations to all the kids who officially joined their forever families today!

(And to their parents.)

caught being good

Guess how long it lasted...

"what are YOU thankful for?"

This month, we've been making a point to talk about what we are thankful for around the dinner table.  Brett and Lydia enjoy it, and, now that we've done it a few times, usually bring it up.  They are always thankful for important people in their lives like each other or Grandma or Papa.

I'm not sure if Reggie quite understands, or maybe he's just really thankful for elephants, because that is what he has said every night for the last 16 nights.

Until tonight, when he caught us all off guard, and was thankful for horses.

adoption: a father's perspective

I'm excited to have my first ever "guest blogger" - my husband! I asked him to share some thoughts about being an adoptive dad, and here is what he has to say, unedited.

Daddy with his kiddos - Fall 2011

"Joy asked me to write a few things for the blog in honor of National Adoption Awareness Month.
Because I don’t exactly consider myself a “wordsmith”, and because I need specific assignments to
satisfy my engineering mentality, she gave me a few ideas to get me going (I know she’s rolling her eyes at how I am exactly answering her questions instead of coming up with something on my own).

What was the adoption process like for you? – I have the handicap of having a short memory when it comes to remembering things like feelings, emotions, etc. I can’t exactly remember what my thoughts were along our process – things just sort of seemed to happen, and they seemed to feel “right”. I do specifically recall that I didn’t have a whole lot of anxiousness or “longing” while we were in the process of waiting for Brett. The whole thing didn’t seem real to me until we actually had Brett in our arms. I can’t say whether or not that was a specific “adoption” response, or, since Brett was our first, just a response to children in general. As far as Reggie is concerned, it seems a little comical to even call it an adoption “process”. He caught us all by surprise, and there wasn’t really any time for deep thought. I know we did really have to think for a couple days how this would change our family, but in reality, it wasn’t even a decision – Reggie was ours from the day we got the call.

Did you have any fears/reservations about building our family through adoption? – I don’t think I’d
classify anything I felt as “fears”, but I did think about how us as a multi-cultural family would ultimately affect our sons. I thought about whether or not we’d be able to give them the experiences they would need to grow into adult African-American men. But whenever I thought about that, I always felt that we would be giving them the best possible upbringing that we could, and that somehow, God would use that in the right way as the boys got older. I don’t really concern myself with how others think about me or my family when they see us – I’m only concerned with giving my boys (and Lydia) the love and teaching they need to be successful as adults.

What was it like to meet Brett and Reggie for the first time? How has bonding been? Any different
from Lydia? – I really can’t say that any of my experiences in that regard have been influenced by the
fact that our boys are adopted and Lydia is biological. They’re all just my kids. Brett, has a special place with me because he’s the first. Lydia was really tough at first, not because of how she came into our family, but because she was a “challenging” baby. I’m sure that no matter how hard we try, Reggie will have the “poor me” youngest child syndrome, but I know I try to be conscious of that. It might not sound as “special” as some would put it, but meeting all three for the first time was sort of the same –“There’s my kid. That’s cool. Let’s get to work.” Brett was a little different because he was the first. You could probably throw in there, “Oh boy, we don’t get to have any time to ourselves for a while”.  I’ve bonded differently, but equally, with all three – and it doesn’t feel like adoption has made it easier or harder.

Proud Father with Reggie, August 2009

Have your beliefs about adoption remained the same or changed? – I think they’ve changed. I can’t
remember having a huge emotional investment in adoption when we started the process – that was
more of Joy’s thing. Now, as I’ve seen how we’ve built our family, and how it feels completely natural, I would highly recommend adoption to anyone who asked. There’s a huge need for matching up kids with families who will love them, and that seems like the best route for building a family to me.

How do you see God’s grace working in our lives as it relates to adoption? Has God “shown” you
anything through our experience in adoption? – The biggest place I’ve seen God’s grace doesn’t really relate to adoption – it’s in His helping us survive three children so close together! I do feel that God has brought our different-looking family together for a reason, and I’m confident He will give us the skills and the strength to bring glory to Him through our experiences. The biggest thing God has shown me through adoption is that it absolutely does not require a “biological” event to feel like a family. My kids are my kids no matter how they got here, and I know that’s because of God working in my heart and mind."

Daddy with Brett - Summer 2011

adoption celebration

I heard about an adoption celebration near us over the weekend, so we decided to check it out.  It was in the afternoon when the kids are usually napping, so Bryan stayed home with Reggie and Lydia, and I just took Brett.  We had a lot of fun!  It was carnival-like, with little games and prizes.  There was a firetruck for the kids to explore, crafts, and face painting.  Brett's favorite part was the petting zoo and riding the pony.  I thought it was fun to get TC's (Twin's Baseball mascot) autograph - and I enjoyed spending some quality time celebrating adoption with my son!  We will definitely try to go again next year.

pantyhose

As I'm all dressed for work in a black sweater, grey skirt, and black pantyhouse, my oldest child observed:

"Mom, your legs are black like mine!"

ponys, pigs, and princesses

What do (My Little) Ponies, pigs, and princesses all have in common?  They are a few of Lydia's favorite things - and I think it has to do with her favorite color - pink!

Several weeks ago, Lydia discovered these pjs in a bin of hand-me-downs from a friend.  She put them on, gave a twirl, and my little girl transformed into my little princess!  She has worn the pjs every day since.  And I do mean every day.  She calls it her "pretty dress".  I obviously require her to get dressed when we go out and about, but on our way home, when we turn onto our street, she starts talking about her jammies.  I barely unbuckle her from her car seat and she's off to change.  By the time the rest of us get in the house, we find a trail of shoes, jacket, and shirt up to her room, where she is already back in her princess jammies.

Lydia has been telling me for at least 6 months that she wanted to have a "pony birthday", but this week she announced a change of heart - she will have a princess birthday complete with frills of pink and purple.  Have I mentioned I do not like the whole fair-tale princess thing?  But I like this one who feels so pretty in her princess pjs!


backyard adventures

I am of the belief system that kids need to play outside, even when the weather isn't sunny and warm.  Brett is always chomping at the bit to go out and play, Reggie agrees with a little coercion from Brett and I, and lately Lydia will only go if I absolutely require it.

From the kitchen window, I love to watch the boys having their backyard adventures.  They run around, roughhouse, play with sticks and balls and hide in the brush...they found a hose and ran circles, each holding on to an end, then making it a telescope...just being boys. 

It's not all that new, except Lydia's not playing too.  The three are always playing together, almost like a single organism with three parts.  But as a general observation, I'd say Lydia is Brett's best friend, and Lydia is Reggie's best friend, and Lydia has two best friends.  The boys are SO different - they look different, have very different personalities, and different interests.  Only time will tell how their relationship will emerge, but it warms my heart to see my boys bonding over dirt, hoses, and backyard adventures...all because the little girl doesn't like to be cold.

orphan sunday

Creation Groans from Christian Alliance for Orphans on Vimeo.

On the first Sunday of the month of November, National Adoption Awareness Month, churches across the globe will take time to recognize the 15,000,000 orphans hoping for a safe place to sleep, a full tummy, medical care, and the love of a forever family.

That doesn't seem like it should be too much to ask.