another mother

Today is the first Mother's Day I've celebrated as a mother. Brett got me a lovely hanging basket of orange flowers and a card.

But this past week I have been finding myself thinking a whole lot about another mother. Last Mother's Day, she was carrying my son in her womb. She was going into her second trimester. She chose to do something only about 3% of women who find themselves in a crisis pregnancy do - she chose to carry her child to term and give him a life she felt she was unable to provide. We don't know a lot about Ms. April, but we know she didn't have a lot of support during her pregnancy with Brett. What an amazingly strong women she must be!

I've been trying to think of a good way to honor Ms. April today, and every Mother's Day. We currently don't have any contact with her, so we can't send her a card or flowers. I thought about getting her a card each year - having Brett pick it out when he gets old enough - and keeping them in a shoebox. Someday if Brett has the opportunity to meet her, he could give the cards to her. But, then, I worry, what if Brett doesn't ever get that opportunity?

I finally came to the conclusion that the best way to honor Ms. April on Mother's Day is to honor her every day. To talk openly about her with Brett always with respect and appreciation. To remember her in our bedtime prayers. And to encourage Brett to honor her how he chooses as he grows.

But isn't that how we should honor all mothers? Every day?

one huge step closer

Today we received this update from An Open Door's paralegal:


"We were able to go to court this morning and the judge signed the Default Judgment terminating the parental rights of the biological father. I have also received all of your post placement visit reports from Summit. Accordingly, I am able to send our agency’s affidavit and consent for you to finalize your adoption..."


Yippee! So, once the affidavit and consent are received by Summit, we can get all our paperwork in order to go to court to finalize Brett's adoption!

May 8th..

...is the date our agency lawyer is going to court for the termination of birth father rights. It is the day the birth father could choose to contest our adoption. This so rarely happens. But when we're talking about losing our son, even the slightest risk is uncomfortable.

5 months old!

Brett is 5 months old! His daddy decided he needed a packer cap. He likes to wear it! In the last month, Brett has started regularly sleeping through the night and has gotten more and more effective at using his hands and fingers. We suspect he is also teething...
I bought the pictured exersaucer at a rummage sale for $7. I bought it with the intention of keeping it at grandma's house. A few weeks ago, we had bought Brett a nice variation of the exersaucer for our home to the tune of $80. Guess which one Brett likes? The $7 one. Guess which one he wants nothing to do with? The $80 one. Lesson learned!!!

Cute story: Brett always comes with us on Wednesdays when we are volunteering at our church after school program, SAY Yes. All of the kids have gotten so used to him being there, that he pretty much goes unnoticed. A couple weeks ago, we invited two new kids to join the program. So, last week, Brett is on my hip while the kids are arriving and getting settled in for the day, and one of the new kids, Dujuan (1st grade), looks at me strangely, and says, "Who's baby is that?" I say my standard response, "He's my son. We adopted him!" And, then, still processing, he says, "He's Black!" Yup! He is!

A few weeks ago, I was entering Target at the same time a Black man and his daughter were. I secured Brett's carrier in the cart, and pulled his blanket down off his face. The man looked, and said, "Woa! He's...small!" with a smile. I smiled back, "Yep!"

Even in our diverse community, we are clearly conspicuous wherever we go. With adults, there's always what they say, and then there's also what they don't say. With kids, they just say without an edit button. Some adults too.