merry christmas

Lydia is missing an arm, but what a cute expression, and Brett isn't poking her...

Merry Christmas!

our last three weeks in pictures

So, Grandpa Ardy has not gotten to meet Lydia yet, and he wants to see pictures, other than of her screaming! The last 3 weeks have been a bit of a fog, but here we go with some random snapshots:

Harambee Village Christmas Celebration

Getting a nice Christmas photo of the kids together was futile a task.Santa came to visit Culver's, so we went for some ice cream! Brett was a little reluctant.

Decorating the tree!

Christmas reflection

One year ago today, we met our son.

It was on December 14th that we were made aware of a little 12 day old baby boy in Georgia in need of a Christmas miracle -a family. We, too, were praying for a Christmas miracle. I remember last year as we were putting up the Christmas tree, unaware of this baby boy God was working to unite with his forever family, tearfully turning to Bryan and saying, "I don't want to put this tree up another year without the clamoring of a child at our ankles."

A couple nights ago, I was sitting on the couch nursing Lydia. Brett was sitting on his daddy's lap, relishing his bedtime bottle. "Would you ever have guessed in your wildest dreams our life would be like this a year ago?" I said to Bryan. "Never", he responded.

We still don't have our tree up this year. Presents are not wrapped. A pile of cards are sitting on the table waiting to be addressed. And not a single cookie has been baked. But we have a child at our ankles and a bonus one in our arms (constantly...).

I think my friend, Joy, said it best in their Christmas letter... "I'm so exhausted, but aren't we blessed?"

lydia mary

Lydia Mary is Lydia June's great-grandmother. She lived a full life and went to spend eternity in heaven five years ago. Grandma left behind a legacy of living out her faith through passion and serving. Not only did she faithfully and passionately serve her family, but also her God through what I call "life as ministry". In her younger years she was a teacher. She served her family as a busy farmer's wife, always with a full meal on the table for anyone and everyone who happened to pull up a chair. She taught Sunday school on the reservations of South Dakota, and her and Grandpa were foster parents to many troubled teens. She generously gave her time and resources to those in need, even teaching a young adult Sunday school class when she was well into her 80's.

And who was she to me? She was the kind of woman I strive to be. And she was the one I could count on to spoil me with special sugary treats. She taught me how to drive on the country roads of South Dakota when I was fourteen. She was a fierce competitor when it came to board games-or anything else. And she was the one to ask, "But is there chemistry?" when I told her about the current boy in my life.

I'm glad she met my "current boy" and gave her approval before she died. I think she knew immediately Bryan was The One. I'm sad that Brett and Lydia June don't get to know her, and that she doesn't get to know me as a mom. But I hope that I can somehow pass on my grandma and all that I love about her to my children.

sleepless...

Happy 1st Birthday!!!

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Thanks for all the fun, Son! We love you!

Welcome

Lydia June Wedan

Born November 28, 2008

8 lbs. 0.8 oz

21.5 inches

stepping into toddlerhood...

...with his first Happy Meal! A monumental day for every child!

National Adoption Month

("Real" moms have cheerios stuck to the pages of their half-read magazines...)

In the midst of Thanksgiving, Christmas Season, 1st birthdays and baby-coming, I want to take a few minutes to recognize National Adoption Month. Last year in November, we were waiting to be matched with Brett, and I wrote this and this post. I'm not going to repeat myself, but, now, my perspectives have evolved as we have experienced being an adoptive family first-hand, and I have shared tid-bits of this on our blog throughout the year.

I need to add one "what not to say" to my list from last year. We have heard one version or another of this over and over again since we announced our pregnancy: "Oh, ha ha, my cousin tried to get pregnant for 8 years. They adopted a little girl from Korea, and then they got pregnant! Seems like it always works that way!"

This is where I look sheepishly at my son and thank God he doesn't understand what was just said. I realize that I may be reading too much into this statement, but it sounds to me that this person is making the following assumptions: (1) Building a family through adoption is not equal to having biological children (2) Adoption was not the desire of our heart (3) It is common for couples who try to conceive and then adopt to become pregnant (actually it happens only about 3-5% of the time). We feel incredibly blessed that God has heard the desire of our hearts to have both adopted and biological children. (We have all the "blessings" we can handle for a while now, Lord!)

Anyway, now that I have that off my chest, here are a few surprises that have come along as an adoptive family:

I expected to be stared at when we were out in public, but have been surprised by how often we are approached by strangers who want to talk about adoption. Most are very friendly. Some have thanked us as if we are heroes. Some are just nosy. It's the nosy ones that I still need practice in my responses as Brett gets older and begins to understand.

I'm surprised at how quickly I have *forgotten* that we ARE conspicuous when we are out in public, and am thrown off when we are approached.

Why can't I find band aids that match my son's skin tone? I'm convinced he will be wearing spider man band aids when he is in high school! When I go to a Target or Walmart, why are 95% of the hair and skin products for white people even in neighborhoods where white is the "minority"?

I'm surprised at how I treasure every little piece of information I have about Brett's birth family, and wish I had more.

While adoption is at the heart of our family, it is only a small piece of who Brett is. A recent conversation Bryan and I had: Me, "I'm going to start being more flexible with what I give Brett to eat. He hasn't had any reactions to anything we've given him yet, and it's not like food allergies run in either of our families." Bryan, "Joy, it doesn't matter if food allergies run in our families."

all baby

38 weeks

My doctor says I'm "all baby". All I know is my ribs are aching to have some space again!

nesting

Sister is coming ready or not! So, with 2 weeks to due date, it's time to get ready.

I have my bag packed for the hospital, and one packed for Brett if we need to take him to a sitter. The bassinet is set up in our room. A few pink outfits are washed and newborn size diapers are color-coded in the red basket under the newly borrowed changing table. I haven't gotten as far as I had hoped on my sewing, but I did get a quilt made. Since Brett and Sister will be sharing a room, I picked out fabrics that coordinate with Brett's lime green, blue, and red baseball theme. I delegated sewing of Sister's crib sheets to my mom. Still hoping to get a dust ruffle done.

With Brett, the crib was set up 7 months ahead of time. Number Two's crib is in the garage and will be set up sometime after Christmas...

Our house seems to be shrinking.

11 months

Brett is 11 months old!

His personality is charming and social, and a bit strong willed. The nursery workers at church describe him as "assertive", "busy", and "concerned about others".

He has become more confident in his mobility, but is not standing or walking independently yet.

We have noticed a dramatic increase in his receptive language, doing "clap", "touchdown", "give me five", and sometimes "say bye-bye" on command. He also understands but does not always obey one step directions like "come here", "no", "lay still", and "stand up".

Brett has become more interested in videos (thank you Lord!) and books, and amazingly will sit for up to 10 or 15 minutes to be read to.

What a lot of fun we have every day!

tricks for treats

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Brett was a clown for Halloween. His costume was made by his great great grandma and was worn by his grandma, his dad, and his uncles on their first halloweens! He went trick or treating to only a few of our neighbors houses, and we enjoyed his treats after he went to bed!

first fall

Yum! Leaves almost taste better than grass and cat chow!

igniting stereotypes

A few nights ago, I attended a community wide meeting. I was interested because there was going to be a discussion about vacant properties in our area, and there are at least 3 on our block.

It turned out to be similar to other community meetings I have attended since we moved to the east side of St. Paul. I always want to go because I value our community and want to be aware of what's going on in the area. And I almost always leave frustrated and angry. Not about the "happenings" in the area. But because while our neighborhood is about one third Caucasian, the folks attending the meetings are all or mostly white. I could overlook that, but they always seem more concerned about their property values and who's not taking care of their yard than about the needs of the community.

No surprise, I walked into a room full of white people with "concerns" about their community. I found a seat next to the door so I could escape if I got too annoyed. I heard mutterings at the tables around me about neighbors and how they had repeatedly complained to the authorities about the "code violations" and nothing had been done.

The chief police officer spoke and shared some insights into trends and crimes in the community, and how the foreclosure crisis has influenced criminal activity. I was quite impressed with the sergeant. Until he made one statement. One statement that may have eased the minds of those in the room, but made my blood start to simmer, and by the time I made it home, come to a full rolling boil. To this room full of white people, he said, crime in our area is primarily "Black on Black."

I'm not ignorant. I'm familiar with criminal patterns in our area, but do we have to make it about race? Do we have to ignite stereotypes? His sentiment could have so easily be stated without the baggage. Maybe "most victims know their assailant"? Or "primarily gang/drug related"? Or "most crime is not random"?

Instead he chose to feed a disturbing belief not only among citizens, but public defenders of our safety. The kids I work with at the after-school program often express negative attitudes toward police officers, and I always respond something like, "most police officers have good intentions, and work to keep us safe." But maybe I shouldn't be so surprised they come to such conclusions.

Ser. Casper didn't know there was a woman in the audience with a black son safe at home sleeping in his crib. He doesn't know this woman's heart aches over the trials her son will inevitable face because he was born black instead of white. That she worries about the day when her son can move beyond the shelter of her privilege to the local gas station for a soda only to be judged and feared unfairly by those around him. They will unashamedly narrow eyes and clutch their purses. That she fears he will be "mistaken" by one Ser. Casper's officers as a danger to society.

I suppose I am like every other mom on this planet. Along with the strongest love I have ever known comes the most sleepless nights...and when my baby started sleeping through, my insomnia was just beginning.

One thing is for sure. I can't look the other way and say, "not my problem" anymore.

say cheese

college weight

When I was in college, I wanted to get the most out of my overpriced meal plan. At 19 pounds gained from this pregnancy, I have finally reached the weight I was in college! Add Brett's 21 lbs. 12 oz. to that, and I'm lugging around an extra 40 pounds much of the day. That's an extra 35% of me!

10 months

Brett is 10 months old! (and 1 week)

He has mastered eating finger-foods, including the ability to separate that boring cheerio from the yummy piece of peach and land that cheerio on the floor for later.

He has 3 teeth and counting.

He's cruising his way around the room with ease and climbing the stairs if he gets a chance.

He is voicing his opinion and testing his limits more than ever!

He is saying "Momma" and means it. (How was that not at the top of the list?) He is also saying "Bob", but we're not not sure who/what he's referring to...

swimming lessons

Since Brett seemed to really enjoy the pool this summer, Daddy decided to sign him up for swimming lessons this fall. (I think it might have something to do with watching Micheal Phelps cashing in on all those gold medals, too.) Here is a little video of Brett's second lesson for Grandma's viewing pleasure...

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those good looks don't come from us

We had a first today.

I was taking Brett for a stroll around the neighborhood, and two ladies visiting in a front yard starting "ooing and ahhing" over him. They guessed his age, and were way off.

"No, he's only 9 months old!", I exclaimed.

One lady responded, "Oh, his daddy must be tall! Is his daddy tall?"

"...............well, he's adopted, so I don't know......"

Actually, I happen to know that neither his bio daddy nor forever daddy are tall. But his bio momma is. Maybe I should have said, "No, his momma's tall"? That would have confused them, at my 5 ft 3 inches!

Anyway, it was the first time I've been aware that someone assumed I gave birth to Brett.

birthdays

Over the weekend, we went Up North to celebrate birthdays. It was Bryan's Grandma's 70th birthday and we had a surprise party for her. It was also our niece's first birthday, and my second 29th birthday.

Grandma was completely surprised, which was very fun, especially since it was our job to get her to the church by 1 and not before. Oh, the lies we told!

We picked apples at Grandma's before the party (all a part of the scheme) and Grandma gave the kids rides on her mower:

Brett also enjoyed pushing his cousin around on his little car:

And Brett went to his first football game at Bryan's old high school.

Finalized!

Yesterday, we went to court to have the judge formally declare "Baby Boy (birthmother's last name)" as "Brett Theodore Wedan"!

Five-hundred and five days after we submitted our application for a home study, our adoption is FINAL!!! So, it took just under 8 months from the time we applied to adopt a child until Brett was placed in our arms - only 7 week of that time was our paperwork complete and we were "waiting", and just under nine months from the time Brett was placed in our arms until the adoption was final.

Court was definitely a celebratory occasion. Our county schedules all adoption finalizations for Friday afternoon, so the waiting area was filled with families with their little ones dressed up and smiles all around. Our hearing took about 15 minutes, including time to take pictures with the judge. Brett babbled through the whole thing and charmed the court clerk. We're just glad he didn't "object"!Grandma and Grandpa Ardie were able to come for the hearing and we went out to dinner to celebrate afterward. What a joyous day!

tooth!

Brett finally has a tooth!

In other news, Brett loves cheese! He is a Wedan! That's how we got him to show off his tooth.

9 months old

If you're wondering why the blog posts have gotten so infrequent, it's because Brett has ventured head first, no looking back, into the world of mobility! Not only has he mastered crawling, he is pulling up on furniture and even doing a bit of cruising, all in the last 3 weeks! And I am literally chasing the Path of Destruction and kissing booboos the 12 hours a day he is awake.

Aren't those the most adorable little feet you've ever seen?

Brett is the Little Engine that Could. He is so determined!He's growing up too fast.