Today is my...momiversary? Five years ago today Bryan and I - full of anticipation and completely terrified - walked into a church in Georgia. A kind lady named Alice plopped a baby in my arms, handed me a bottle, and for the next 20 minutes I nervously pretended to know what I was doing. All the while, a case worker was going over a stack of important papers..."legal risk"..."sign here"...I'm glad we didn't have a pop quiz.
When you are pregnant - at some point - the growing belly, the kicks, the sonograms, convince you that you are going to have a child, that you are going to be a mom. Expecting a child through adoption was always nervous anticipation - there was nothing tangible to convince me that I was on my way to motherhood. And then Alice put this little boy in my arms and asked Bryan, "What's his name?" Bryan answered, "Brett", proudly wearing the number "4" jersey.
I was a mom.
In Jack Prelutsky children's book called, Me I Am, the whimsical poem reads... "I am the only Me I Am who qualifies as me; no Me I Am has been before, and none will ever be..." I see Brett in the pages of the book, who's favorite things include rocket ships and vacuums, and would be happy if every day were exactly the same as the last.
He knows every word to the songs he will perform in tomorrow's Christmas program - we got a personal concert tonight. Yet we have a backup plan should things go array- as they often do with our "Me I Am". He's perfectly Brett.
Brett has the distinct honor of being the child who made me a mom, my favorite title.
Tonight in our bedtime prayers, we thanked God for his birthmom, and for the wonderful gift she gave us - each other.
Oh...I love this so much. I could have written most of it myself. Jackson has that honor, as well, and it makes my connection to him different, special, beautiful. I loved looking back at your first pictures with Brett - I could see in your face all that I remember in my heart - wonder, excitement, fear, lol. And look at him looking up at you! Amazing! I have one picture like that too - it's like they are soaking us in in those early moments, just as much as we are trying to soak them in. Beautiful.
ReplyDeleteCrying happy tears. I remember waiting to get a glimpse of Brett on your blog, and wanting to crawl right thru the computer to kiss that precious face! "Only another adoptive parent could understand how you could look into the eyes of a stranger and know he/she's yours"...beautifully written piece, Joy! I'm so thankful to get to be your friend and watch as God does all these beautiful things...congrats!
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