a lesson about families

Every year in November, I aim to contribute to each child's classroom a book about adoption or diverse families. I am also always on the lookout for books for home-use, as well as books I can use and share at the Catholic schools where I work.

There are a lot of children's books about families and diversity in families, which often include a page or two that reference adoption.  There are also many books on the market intended for adopted children with some variation of the message of "we chose you",  It is harder to find books about adoption that are good for classroom use.

I like some better than others.  Newer-published books about diverse families tend to include, or focus on, families of same-sex couples who adopt children.  Let's just say, for my professional use, my Catholic schools are not ready for that in the classroom setting.  And for our personal use at home, it doesn't represent us.  And for a donation to my kids' school, sure, but can we at least have our own page?  Side note: I was at the local teacher store and I came across a collection of "20 diverse families" posters.  Guess what?  Our family didn't make the top 20.

I understand the challenge.  I mean, when you consider all the different possibilities of family composition taking into consideration all the different types of adoption, race, religious diversity, extended families, single-parent, blended families - well, a 7-year-old's attention span just isn't long enough.

Down to business on the book selections for this year.

Adoptive Families by Sarah L. Schuette is a very basic introduction to adoptive families.  The text is simple and matter-of-fact and it includes pictures (photographs) of adoptive families doing family things, like baking together.  This was my choice for Reggie's classroom this year.

Reggie's class has been in constant transition.  His teacher was in her 3rd trimester at the beginning of the year and was put on bed rest before the arranged long-term sub could start coverage, so he is literally on his fourth teacher!  Reggie's book probably made it into his classroom, but I can't say for sure!

Families, Families, Families by Suzanne Lang is a book about all kinds of different families, including adoptive families, with a basic message that families love and care for each other.  I checked out a few different books about diverse families from the library for Lydia to read.  This is the one she chose for me to purchase for her class.  She said she liked it because of the animal illustrations.  They are really adorable and the counselor in me thinks using animals to represent differences is a great idea for first and second graders.

 

Have I mentioned on the blog that Lydia is in a mixed age class this year (1st/2nd grade)?  It's been a great fit for her. She is really shining this year. 

 

Lydia's teacher also loved the book and used it as a read-aloud with the class.  Lydia shared about being a member of an adoptive family, which was good for her.  At the moment, Lydia is the child who is processing what it means to be adopted the most.

 

Rosie's Family: An Adoption Story by Lori Rosove is about a 7-year-old who has lots of questions about her adoption that are typical for adoptive children.  It addresses the issue of kids at school asking about "real parents".  I was so excited to come across this book because Rosie's parents also have a biological child (puppy), and Rosie shares her feelings about having this dynamic in her family.  The words and text are kept very simple for young children.  This might be my favorite adoption book yet and I wish I would have come across it a long time ago!  My only reservation about donating this book was it felt more geared toward the adopted child than to be read aloud in a classroom setting.

 

It turned out to be a great option for Brett's class.  Brett's teacher was very enthusiastic and decided to do a mini-unit on families that week.  The day she read this book, she said it inspired a really good discussion!  Brett is very shy at school, so I doubt he actually participated in the discussion, but his teacher reports he was smiling the whole time. 

 

That was good to hear because as much as I want to promote awareness about adoption, I would hate it to bring unwanted attention to my kids.

 

One thing I love about our kids' school is it's diversity.  A kaleidoscope of children representing every race and many religions and languages with even more diverse families.  This diversity is it's identity, it's strength!  And the teachers embrace it.

assumptions

I think up until around six years old, we basically think everyone else is like us.  They think like us, have the same beliefs and values, opportunities, interests, families, like the same things, etc.  And then we start to notice differences.  Guess what?  Not everybody loves the Packers like we do.  Sometimes there is something in our lunchbox that we love and other kids think is gross (like hardboiled eggs).  A recent shock to one of my kids this fall was that not every six-year-old goes trick-or-treating.  Some kids have "white skin" and some kids have "black skin" and some kids have "in-between skin".  (Lately, we have been stressing with our kids that there are other ways to describe people than by the color of their skin - that skin color is one of many attributes a person has.)

A few weeks ago, Lydia made an assumption about a friend in her class.  We happened to know the family from t-ball two summers ago, but Lydia must have never noticed (see previous paragraph) the family composition.  The boy is bi-racial, and Lydia reported to me that he "was adopted because he has a white mom."  I had a serious conversation with her about how we can't assume kids are adopted, or not adopted, based on the color of their skin.

Then, another six-year-old made an assumption about Lydia.  He told her "Reggie isn't your real brother."  The assumption was that a white person and a black person cannot be siblings.  This time it was Lydia's turn to have a "serious conversation" with the boy about adoption.  And, based on the story she told me, I'm proud of her.

How often do we, as adults, make assumptions about people before we have all the information?  How often do we think people share the same views, experiences, opportunities, and values?  Or, the reverse, we think people oppose our beliefs and values based on what little we know about them?  Learning not to assume is a good life lesson for 6 year olds...and 36 year old...and 96 year olds.

This picture was taken on Unity Day, when students are encouraged to wear orange to take a stand against bullying.

Super Mario Bros. and Princess Peach

I managed to complete my to-do list and we had a fun Halloween.  I think there might be a few more things on my list next year, since I had so much fun creating a "creepy menu" this year.  I'm blaming it on Pinterest!

We finally made it around the "big block" this year as the kids were more motivated than ever and the weather cooperated.  At 3.5 lbs collected each, we'll have enough candy to last for a while!