assumptions

I think up until around six years old, we basically think everyone else is like us.  They think like us, have the same beliefs and values, opportunities, interests, families, like the same things, etc.  And then we start to notice differences.  Guess what?  Not everybody loves the Packers like we do.  Sometimes there is something in our lunchbox that we love and other kids think is gross (like hardboiled eggs).  A recent shock to one of my kids this fall was that not every six-year-old goes trick-or-treating.  Some kids have "white skin" and some kids have "black skin" and some kids have "in-between skin".  (Lately, we have been stressing with our kids that there are other ways to describe people than by the color of their skin - that skin color is one of many attributes a person has.)

A few weeks ago, Lydia made an assumption about a friend in her class.  We happened to know the family from t-ball two summers ago, but Lydia must have never noticed (see previous paragraph) the family composition.  The boy is bi-racial, and Lydia reported to me that he "was adopted because he has a white mom."  I had a serious conversation with her about how we can't assume kids are adopted, or not adopted, based on the color of their skin.

Then, another six-year-old made an assumption about Lydia.  He told her "Reggie isn't your real brother."  The assumption was that a white person and a black person cannot be siblings.  This time it was Lydia's turn to have a "serious conversation" with the boy about adoption.  And, based on the story she told me, I'm proud of her.

How often do we, as adults, make assumptions about people before we have all the information?  How often do we think people share the same views, experiences, opportunities, and values?  Or, the reverse, we think people oppose our beliefs and values based on what little we know about them?  Learning not to assume is a good life lesson for 6 year olds...and 36 year old...and 96 year olds.

This picture was taken on Unity Day, when students are encouraged to wear orange to take a stand against bullying.