sometimes you're the nail

When last wrestling season resulted in 39 wins out of 42 matches, Bryan and I knew we needed to come up with a different game plan for this year.  With every activity our kids participate in, our hope is for them to experience some success, growth, and fun.  Sure, every 8 or 9 year old loves coming out on top every time, but is he growing?  So, this season we set out to get him in some more challenging tournaments.

There are a few tournament systems.  There are the ones that our club does that lead to a state-level competition in April (NYWA).  Wrestlers qualify by competing and placing at the district and then regional level.  Reggie's first year, his season ended at the regional level.  Last year, he finished 3rd for his 1-2 grade weight class at the state level.  Another system is called USA.  Our club doesn't participate in this system, but we often cross paths with wrestlers who do.  

We decided to take Reggie to a few tournaments that are open to anyone but attract the more "elite" wrestling crowd and see what would happen.  Ever seen the show "Toddlers and Tiaras"?  These tournaments are what I would imagine to be the equivalent in wrestling.  Little boys (and some girls) strut around with their chests puffed out and titles branded on their clothing and equipment.  I imagine these kids eat, sleep, and wrestle year around (because it says so on their t-shirts!) But not everyone.  There are also kids like Reggie who love competition and are there to learn.

So, what happened?  Reggie lost.  The top 6 wrestlers in a given grade level/weight class place, and Reggie didn't place at any of the 3 tournaments.

After the first tournament, Bryan had these words of wisdom for his son: "Sometimes you're the hammer, sometimes you're the nail."

Until this season, the bulk of Reggie's experience has been being the hammer.  But we intentionally put him in situations where he would be the nail this year.  Why?  Because we believe in order to be a great wrestler, he has to experience some losses.  He has to learn how to be the underdog and come from behind.  He has to experience doing his very hardest wrestling with the result that he managed to not get pinned - and be proud of what he accomplished.

As adults, we know that our children grow and become better people through adversity.  But as parents, it is so hard to watch our kids struggle!  My mother-in-law captured this moment of me sitting with my baby boy after his fourth straight loss in 24 hours.  Later, Reggie asked me why I was stressed (I guess I didn't hide it very well).  I told him that when he had his own kids he would understand.  He would understand that your kids are your very heart beating outside your body.  And that when they experience pain, you experience that pain, too.  My mother-in-law quickly chimed in to remind me - when your kids experience victory, you experience it, too.  We get to experience all of it alongside our children.

The "elite" tournaments are behind us for this year.  In a few weeks, Reggie will start to wrestle through the district, regional, and (possibly) state level of the NYWA tournaments with his club.  We've learned that it is typical for kids to perform well every other year based on their grade level (1st and 2nd compete together, 3rd and 4th compete together, etc.) so 3rd grade is naturally a more difficult year.  Stay tuned!