sometimes you're the nail

When last wrestling season resulted in 39 wins out of 42 matches, Bryan and I knew we needed to come up with a different game plan for this year.  With every activity our kids participate in, our hope is for them to experience some success, growth, and fun.  Sure, every 8 or 9 year old loves coming out on top every time, but is he growing?  So, this season we set out to get him in some more challenging tournaments.

There are a few tournament systems.  There are the ones that our club does that lead to a state-level competition in April (NYWA).  Wrestlers qualify by competing and placing at the district and then regional level.  Reggie's first year, his season ended at the regional level.  Last year, he finished 3rd for his 1-2 grade weight class at the state level.  Another system is called USA.  Our club doesn't participate in this system, but we often cross paths with wrestlers who do.  

We decided to take Reggie to a few tournaments that are open to anyone but attract the more "elite" wrestling crowd and see what would happen.  Ever seen the show "Toddlers and Tiaras"?  These tournaments are what I would imagine to be the equivalent in wrestling.  Little boys (and some girls) strut around with their chests puffed out and titles branded on their clothing and equipment.  I imagine these kids eat, sleep, and wrestle year around (because it says so on their t-shirts!) But not everyone.  There are also kids like Reggie who love competition and are there to learn.

So, what happened?  Reggie lost.  The top 6 wrestlers in a given grade level/weight class place, and Reggie didn't place at any of the 3 tournaments.

After the first tournament, Bryan had these words of wisdom for his son: "Sometimes you're the hammer, sometimes you're the nail."

Until this season, the bulk of Reggie's experience has been being the hammer.  But we intentionally put him in situations where he would be the nail this year.  Why?  Because we believe in order to be a great wrestler, he has to experience some losses.  He has to learn how to be the underdog and come from behind.  He has to experience doing his very hardest wrestling with the result that he managed to not get pinned - and be proud of what he accomplished.

As adults, we know that our children grow and become better people through adversity.  But as parents, it is so hard to watch our kids struggle!  My mother-in-law captured this moment of me sitting with my baby boy after his fourth straight loss in 24 hours.  Later, Reggie asked me why I was stressed (I guess I didn't hide it very well).  I told him that when he had his own kids he would understand.  He would understand that your kids are your very heart beating outside your body.  And that when they experience pain, you experience that pain, too.  My mother-in-law quickly chimed in to remind me - when your kids experience victory, you experience it, too.  We get to experience all of it alongside our children.

The "elite" tournaments are behind us for this year.  In a few weeks, Reggie will start to wrestle through the district, regional, and (possibly) state level of the NYWA tournaments with his club.  We've learned that it is typical for kids to perform well every other year based on their grade level (1st and 2nd compete together, 3rd and 4th compete together, etc.) so 3rd grade is naturally a more difficult year.  Stay tuned!

the cold snap of 2019

Aside from the occasional inch or two of snow and temperature drop into the deep freeze - that started earlier than usual (middle of October) - our winter has been relatively mild.  Normally, we get a big snow dump late in November or maybe early in December, and we don't see the bare ground again until April. But on Sunday of this week we basically had no snow and the snowfall on Sunday evening was a welcome event.  I'm not sure why it kept us out of school on Monday - we have had far worse conditions with no cancellations - but it did.  With temps in the low teens, Monday was a great day for finally taking the sleds down the hill to the frozen pond.

On Monday afternoon we were notified there would be no school on Tuesday or Wednesday due to subzero temps.  I think -28 actual temp (-54 wind chill) was the coldest I noted.  

We stayed plenty busy though.  Brett still had speech on Monday and Tuesday afternoon and we ran errands while we were out.  Tuesday we had a Home Alone Marathon and popcorn day.  Did you know there are 5 Home Alone's with the first one coming out in 1990 and the last one in 2012?  We dumped the Legos out on the living room floor and were perfectly content to stay indoors.

By Wednesday, we still had Home Alone 4 and 5 to watch and the kids each chose a game to play.  Brett picked Uno Attack.  Reggie picked Monopoly, which we played to the bitter end, except for Brett, who lost interest.  And Lydia won. That afternoon we learned school was cancelled for Thursday, too.  Brett and Bryan had been planning to go to a Timberwolves game for a month and they ate at Culver's.  The rest of us ran errands - grocery store, library, Target, and Hardee's for dinner.  Never mind that it was 20 below.  

Thursday we finished Brett's science fair display and  played Lydia's game choice, PayDay.  In the afternoon, Papa and MeeMaw arrived for the weekend, and Lydia had piano lessons.  We had our one casualty from the cold. Our dishwasher, which is located in the bump-out of our kitchen, broke.

Friday was a preplanned teacher's workday.  The worst of the cold was over with temps above zero. Papa and MeeMaw took Brett and Lydia out on belated birthday dates.  Brett ate at Perkins and Lydia ate and Noodles.  They both picked crafts supplies - and video games!

Reggie had a wrestling tournament in the evening.  On Saturday, there was another tournament, and Brett had a homeschooler's science fair.  

It was a busy week and, though it feels like I lost a full week on the calendar, I am thankful.  Thankful for a warm home and reliable cars and a life situation where I don't have to choose between career and family.  Thankful for the time I got to spend with my kids and that they still want to do things with me.  

Thankful that tomorrow is Monday.

holiday picture post

Special Olympics Christmas party

Coke and Oreos!  Hot chocolate for the kid who doesn't like soda!

Decorating a gingerbread house

Making a Tea Tree

Winter Concert

Cookie baking day!

Holidazzle

Celebration Dance!

MeeMaw's Hot Chocolate

There are two angels in this picture.

Santa Pancakes

Cousin Cabin

Cousin Wedding

Brett was very excited about holding his new baby cousin (our first grand-nephew)!

Puzzle Day

Last day of Kwanzaa/New Year's Day soul food

Puzzles Done!

if God is love

In an effort to keep Jesus at the center of our Christmas season, we set up an advent wreath at our kitchen counter.  I usually download an advent devotional from a well-known Christian publisher and we read the devotional together each night at dinner.

A few nights ago, as I read the devotional, I had to stop and revise the words to reflect what I believe, and what I desire for our kids to believe, to be true.  The devotional described Jesus as a mediator between God and us.  It said God "separated himself from us" as a result of our sin.  I think the devotional has it the wrong way.  What I believe at the very core of my faith is that God is love. (1 John 4:8)  Anything that contradicts this truth is likely a misinterpretation or misrepresentation of the gospel.  When we choose sin, we reject God and separate ourselves from God.  On the surface this may seem  to be a small nuance.  But it's not.  If God is love, God never gives up on us.  We know what love is from 1 Corinthians 13:4-13 (in part):

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails... And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

This advent season, I've been reflecting more on Christ's death than his birth. How he was rejected by the very people he came to rescue from sin. How even when he was rejected, he never stopped loving, he never turned away...

And because Jesus is Emmanuel - "God with us" - we can know with all certainty that God when faced with the rejection of the cross - does not separate himself from us but rather continues to pursue us in the midst of our sin. Now that's good news!