happy halloween

painful lesson

Ask us what Reggie likes to play with and we would answer, "long skinny objects". They are easy to grasp and he likes to put them in his mouth. Whether it's a long, narrow mega block or a spoon from the play kitchen or a peg from the kids' ring-toss game, he sees it, he grabs it and runs. A few days ago I asked Bryan if he had any ideas for Christmas gifts for Reggie, and he said "a drumstick."

That's not funny anymore...you can tell where this story is going.

Thursday morning I was doing a craft with the kids and Reggie got his hands on a wooden spoon. I didn't see it happen - but you know the cry where there's a wail and then a long pause and then a loud shriek of pain? When you are out of view of your child, there is a little tiny bit of relief to hear that second shriek as you assess the situation. He had apparently fallen either on the spoon or with the spoon in his mouth. It was bad, but after several minutes, the bleeding stopped and he calmed. I gave him some Tylenol and cold water and he seemed to be recovering. I left the kids with the sitter and went on to school. When I got home, Bonnie (our sitter) said Reggie had been crying for about a half-hour since he had gotten up from his nap.

I am not one to run to the doctor, but I called the clinic. I was encouraged to bring him in, so I did, and was then sent on to an ear, nose, and throat specialist. He punctured the back of his throat pretty severely. The specialist weighed the risks of surgery and decided our best option was to put him on antibiotics and hope it heals on it's own. We go back in on Monday for another look. Thursday evening he was in a whole lot of pain, but fortunately after I put him down around 10:30, he slept through the night. He seemed to be doing better today, but his diet is limited and, per doctor's orders, we have been liberal with the pain-relievers.

And so Reggie goes down in our Wedan family history as the first injury requiring medical attention. It is really no surprise-we have had him tagged as the reckless one since he's become mobile (see this post). Today, we spent the whole day taking long skinny objects from him - so it appears he has not learned his lesson.

But he is not getting a drumstick for Christmas.

quote(s) of the day

"Help please"

-said completely unprompted, clear-as-day, and in an appropriate context by the 14-month-old.

and

"No"

-the first flat-out lie, complete with a mischievous grin, I've been told by one of my children, who shall remain nameless.

the parable of the lost sheep

A couple weeks ago, I was out and about with the kids when something attracted Brett's attention and he ran off without the rest of us. I panicked. Without a second thought, I left my other two children to go get him. Fortunately, thanks to the extra guardian angels assigned to our kids, everything turned out fine.

Later that day, I was reminded of the parable of the lost sheep:

Luke 15:3-7 "Then Jesus told them this parable: 'Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home...I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.'"

After a brief reflection on how grateful I am to be found by my heavenly Father, my thoughts turned back to my son. While I don't view him as "lost" in a spiritual sense at the age of almost-three, I can relate to the sense of desperation the shepherd in the parable felt for the well-being of his lost sheep.

To this point on the blog, I have only peripherally shared the extent of Brett's challenges. I have a few reasons for this. First - for concerns about our privacy and not knowing exactly who reads the blog. Second - even though I know that I could have just as likely given birth to a child with similar challenges as adopted one, it's possible I'm overly sensitive about any judgements being placed on Brett's adoption history or his race. And, finally, through our exploration of his challenges, it has mostly felt like we have discovered more questions than answers. I'm finding it difficult to write about something where I don't know the outcome.

But - because Brett's challenges are not a peripheral part of our life - I feel it is time for us to start sharing more of our reality. Since Brett's 2nd birthday, he has undergone many evaluations. We have heard many painful words like "digressing", "standard deviations below", "serious", and "developmental delays" in describing our son. Brett is showing delays in speech as well as fine motor and gross motor development. At first, I really felt a need to know what and why, but that has become far less of a focus and intervention at any cost has become a priority. His speech therapy is going well - he is saying more and we are understanding more of what he is saying. In addition, we have decided to move forward with occupational therapy.

I say "at any cost" because helping Brett requires a lot of our resources - time, money, energy. Brett's challenges don't *just* effect Brett. Every member of the family is affected. Right now, knowingly or unknowingly, everyone is making sacrifices for the lost sheep. Bryan and I are stumbling through learning how to parent a child where traditional parenting methods don't work. Reggie and Lydia spend lots of time in clinic waiting rooms. And our long-term goals seem to be becoming longer-term goals.

And while the outlook is very hazy right now, I thank God that Brett is our son. When I describe Brett, I use words like "clever", "observant", "servant's heart", "mild-mannered", and "invaluable". I know God distictively prepared me to be his mother. Many days, I feel I missed the mark, but my heavenly Father assures me that somehow He loves Brett even more than I do.

quote(s) of the day

Got two good quotes from Brett before 10 this morning:

What was I thinking not taking the trio upstairs to brush my teeth with me this morning? I came downstairs and asked Brett where Reggie was. His response?

"Reggie outside."

And a few minutes later, I gave Brett some privacy on the potty only to return to him holding his stuffed dog over the bowl. "What are you doing?"

"Puppy into water."

It was not water...and I was too late.

Pig-Pen

savoring fall

With the exception of spring, fall is my favorite season. I like it that in Minnesota, there are four distinct seasons, but winter takes up more than it's fair share of the year. Spring offers new life after many months of cold and often treacherous weather. Fall produces a sense of urgency to soak in every warm ray of sunshine because every sweatshirt-weather day might be the last for a long time.

This year has been an unseasonably warm fall - by comparison, last year we picked out pumpkins in coats, mittens and hats.

And we are savoring it!

quote(s) of the day

The family went out to a pumpkin patch to pick pumpkins thins afternoon. It also had some animals to pet including a donkey.

Reggie's new word: "gonkey"

When we got home, the kids were covered in dirt, so I announced it was bath time before we even got out of the car. Everyone loves bath time, but especially Brett. All the way to the tub, he ordered:

"ON Reggie, ON Lydia..." (as in "Come on Reggie, Come on Lydia" - don't know where he hears that...but it did get me excited for Christmas - "On Dancer, On Prancer")

quote(s) of the day

This weekend, we are painting Lydia's bedroom yellow. I took her in to see the progress, and she exclaimed:

"Al Birt [Big Bird], Oh Wow!"

Every night, as I'm tucking Brett into bed, we say his prayers, and I have him name who he is thankful for.

Tonight, he was thankful for "Pita [Grandma]", and "da-da-cheese [mac-and-cheese]".