babies meet baby

We got clearance to travel Friday afternoon, so I flew home with Reggie on Saturday. Bryan came home from his parents' with Brett and Lydia this afternoon. We are all home together! The next few weeks will be interesting as we learn how to juggle life with three under two. Fortunately, we have eager grandmas willing to help out with the transition.

Brett and Lydia are very curious about our new family member. Here are a few pictures of their introduction:

Lydia is 9 months old!

Lydia is 9 months old and she is on the move!

She is crawling all over the place and pulling up on furniture. Her newest trick is clapping. It's really cute because she does it on command. We think that her first word might be "cat", who she loves to terrorize! She has become a fun loving silly girl who loves to laugh and play silly games. She loves to watch videos and cuddle on Momma's lap. She has also become very attached to her ladybug lovey. She also enjoys playing with keys and my wallet.

Lydia weighs 14 pounds and is in the 3rd percentile. She is wearing size 3-6 month clothes. Her spit-up issue seems to be slowing resolving itself.

Along with baby cereals and foods, Lydia is eating small chunks of veggies and fruit. Her favorite food is rice puff cereal and she also loves rice cakes and cheerios. She drinks water, milk, and juice from her sippie cup on her own.

why adopt?

(and more specifically - why adopt Reggie)

(Not intended to convince anyone they should not have bio kids. Adoption isn't for everyone. Even though I believe these are good things, I don't ever plan to donate a kidney or do a 3 Day Walk for a Cure.)

1. Adoption is at the heart of the gospel. I, not being of Jewish origin, was adopted into God's family. For more on this, see this post and Romans 8 and 11.
2. As Christians, we are commanded to care for those in need. James 1:27 says, "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress..." Adoption is one way of doing this.
3. Actions speak louder than picket signs. Ms. April, Bryan and I are prolife in action. Everywhere we go, people see that adoption has been a blessing to us.
4. We believe adoption is a equal way to build a family.
5. When we decided to adopt one, we decided to adopt two (and, not-so-randomly, we decided we would adopt two boys of African heritage). We believe it will be easier for the boys to deal with adoption-related issues together.
6. Biology isn't important to us, but it might be to our boys. Our children are all the same to us. Lydia is as much a sibling to Brett as Reggie is. Reggie is as much our child as Lydia is. Biology doesn't make a family. But we believe in some way the boys will value this special connection.
7. The boys have basically the same adoption story, the same "degree of openness" with their birthfamily, and the same family to search for should they desire to do so as adults.
8. We have the means to do so. No doubt it will be hard having the kids so close together. And we will probably be living in our little house longer than we had hoped. But we had the money to cover the fees, and I am able to stay home full time to give the kids my full attention, and we feel we have a support system in place that we will need.
9. Honestly, we're avoiding some pain. Adoption is risky. Things can easily go wrong, and often do. Countries change policies; expectant mothers have changes of heart; foster kids are returned to their families. Knowing that we would adopt again at some point, this "situation" seemed like it was handed to us on a silver platter.
10. It gives people something to talk about. Seriously, how many people have YOU told about our crazy life???

tourists

Yesterday Bryan, Reggie, and I decided to be tourists in Atlanta. We went to the Atlanta History Center. It had interesting exhibits on the 1996 Olympics and the Civil War. Then we went to Centennial Olympic Park and enjoyed the water gardens. We ate at a famous drive-in diner called The Varsity. We had hoped to conclude our day with a Braves game, but changed our plans due to the likelihood of rain.

normal baby

Brett was an exceptionally content baby and Lydia was...exceptional in her own way. Reggie seems to be normal - cries when he needs or wants or doesn't like something, but mostly goes with the flow. He sleeps a lot. Last night he went for a 4 hour stretch of sleep without eating, so that was nice.

An update on the adoption: everything is complete at this stage in the game except we are waiting for Minnesota to clear us to come across state lines. Georgia cleared us yesterday afternoon, so technically Reggie and I could leave Georgia, but since we are flying to Minnesota, we are staying put. Bryan flew out this morning. He will be going up to his parents to spend time with Brett and Lydia for the weekend.

As with Brett's adoption, Reggie's adoption is a "legal risk" adoption. This means Reggie's birthfather did not sign papers to terminate his rights as a father (An Open Door doesn't know where he is.) An Open Door is required to follow a certain process to try to acquire a signature from the birthfather, which is expected to ultimately end in a court date in which the court will terminate the birthfather's rights. Until this happens, we will not be able to finalize Reggie's adoption. With Brett the entire process took about 9 months.

These two pictures were taken by Reggie's foster mom when we first met Reggie:

Notice that Bryan is wearing his Reggie White jersey. Bryan wore a Farve jersey when we met Brett.

In Our Arms...

...where he belongs.

recess

nesting in under two weeks

How do you get ready for a baby in less than 2 weeks? Well, when it is your third one in less than two years, you walk out to the garage, find the bin that is labeled "0-12 months boy", and throw it's contents into the wash machine (even though you know everything was clean when you put it away). Then you go to the basement, and don't have to dig very deep for the bassinet, swing and bouncy seat. Throw the covers in the wash machine and reassemble. Brett gets a new car seat, Lydia moves into Brett's seat turned backward, and Reggie gets the carrier seat.

Ready!

Reggie's little corner of the house

We've made a couple small purchases, too. We have bought each kid a ceramic piggy bank, a security blanket, and a baby book. I'm happy that all the kids have the same baby book.

With Brett, I sewed everything for the nursery including sheets, blanket, valances, dust ruffle, rocking chair seat cushions, and a diaper bag. With Lydia, I made a quilt and my mom made sheets. I still have fabric for a dust ruffle and diaper bag waiting in a closet. With Reggie, I'm just hoping I'll get a chance to whip up his little security blanket tomorrow.

Bryan doing paperwork - what he does best and I don't.

Reggie is two weeks old!

Well, actually, 15 days old (the age Brett was when he was placed in our arms) but he had his 2 week check-up today.

He weighs 8 lbs 10 oz - has gained almost 2 pounds already! Ms. Donna says he is eating about 5 ounces at each feeding. The doctor detected a heart murmur that he said will probably correct with age (Brett also has a heart murmur). I also learned that he doesn't spit up, and isn't interested in a nuk.

making progress

It's interesting doing things in reverse order with this adoption. Usually, you do your homestudy, then you wait for your child. Our child is waiting for us to do our homestudy!

Our homestudy agency (Summit, in MN) and our placement agency (An Open Door, in GA) have been working hard to push things through since we came to our decision on Friday. Some friends took our kids off our hands for a few hours on Saturday so we could fill out all our paperwork. It was a lot easier this time because we basically just copied our answers from our first homestudy. We needed new letters of reference and our friends were so kind and generous to get them to us the same day we asked. We all needed physicals. Bryan got his yesterday, and Brett, Lydia and I did ours all at once today (that was not a fun appointment). Our social worker came to interview us yesterday afternoon. Our background checks were submitted yesterday, and that is what we will probably end up waiting on. We have also been working on grant applications in the midst of all this! With Brett's adoption, our homestudy took about 2 months. It looks like with Reggie, our homestudy will take about 8 days!

The price of airline tickets go up so drastically if you book just a day or two out, so we decided to take an educated guess and book our flight to Georgia for a week from today (August 26th). Bryan is planning to come home to be with Brett and Lydia Friday the 28th, and I will stay in Georgia until all the paperwork clears (which will hopefully not take more than a week, since we booked my flight back for Wednesday, Sept. 2).

We have talked with Reggie's foster mom a couple times over the last few days. It sounds like Reggie is a content baby. Ms. Donna says she keeps trying to get pictures of him with his eyes open. What a nice problem to have. It was hard for me to get pictures of Lydia not screaming when she was that age! Reggie's one week check-up went well; he has another check-up on Friday.

Reggie, we are so excited about meeting you and bringing you home!

Bryan and Joy plus three

Thursday, August 6th at 7:49 am in St. Paul, MN, Bryan was packing some last minute items into the family car. I was scrambling to get the kids dressed and Grandma Julie was tag teaming with me to get them fed. It was the much anticipated day of the year that we would caravan over to Green Bay, WI to participate in the 25-year-old Wedan Family tradition of attending Packer's Training Camp.

Thursday, August 6th at 7:49 am in Augusta, GA, our third child was born.

It wasn't until Saturday around 10 am that I discovered I had missed a phone call from An Open Door. Odd. We hadn't heard from them since Brett's adoption was finalized. There was a voice mail, but I couldn't retrieve it due to being out of my area. My mind raced. Was something wrong with Brett's birth mom? Was she interested in more contact? Was she pregnant? It took us an hour to figure out how to retrieve the message, and when it was from the director of the program telling us to call her on her cell phone over the weekend, our sense of urgency heightened. Bryan got ahold of Debbie at An Open Door and she informed us that Ms. April had given birth to another baby boy and chosen to place the baby for adoption. Would we be interested in adopting him?

Wow...at that exact moment we were trying to juggle feeding our 20 month old and 8 month old in a restaurant without being too disruptive and also eat ourselves (eating is only a means to an end, we stopped enjoying it a while ago).

How could we? But then, how could we not?

The rest of the vacation was pretty much a blur as our hearts were heavy with the decision we had to make. The kids had fun at the water park and in the arcade. Brett had his first experience at Chuck E. Cheese and riding a horse. Lydia rode a merry-go-round. And the whole time we were thinking, "How could we do this with three?"

We returned home on Monday. By Wednesday, we pretty much convinced ourselves to say "no". But something stopped us from making that call.

Matthew 14:29-31 says:

"Come," [Jesus] said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!" Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"

I recall a message I once heard on this passage. The speaker shared that when we take our eyes off Jesus and focus on our circumstances, we begin to sink. Our anxiety gets the best of us and our faith is squelched.

Thursday morning, I woke up to an email from Bryan that said, "What is God leading us to do?" and an e-devotional:

Psalm 121:1-2
I lift up my eyes to the hills—where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD

I took the kids for a long walk around the neighborhood and this time instead of trying to figure out an equation with too many variables (How important is biology? How do I go to the store with 3 babies? What kind of crazy configuration is two bio adopted brothers with one bio daughter? etc.), I just prayed, "Lord, is this baby our son?"

No, the clouds didn't open up and a voice from the heavens did not boom, "YES". But I began to realize that our fear was not a good enough reason to say "no".

Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

1 Peter 5:7
Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Thursday evening, we attended a dinner for a missionary our church supports. Walking out of the dinner to go pick up our kids from the nursery, Bryan grabbed my hand, and said, "Let's do it." And Friday morning Bryan called Debbie.

I used to believe in coincidences. Now I mostly just believe in miracles.

We have three of them.

Introducing

Reginald David Wedan

Born: August 6, 2009, 7:49 am

7 pounds 1 ounce

20.5 inches long

Waiting for him to be in our arms!

All the ways of the Lord are loving and faithful - Psalm 25:10

Just over a week ago, we learned Brett's "brother from the same mother" needed a forever family. God has blessed us with another son - Reggie!

MICAH family picnic

Wow, my 4th post in August is on August 4th. I don't think that has ever happened!

Saturday was the annual MICAH family picnic. We are a MICAH family because we received a grant through the MICAH fund for Brett's adoption. Since then, Bryan has become the treasurer for the MICAH fund. MICAH will be celebrating 20 years and 300 babies in the next few months! Brett was baby #275. A slideshow is being put together to celebrate the event.

Here are some pictures from the picnic:Brett playing with his friend Ruby-Lydia made friends with all the little girls!Brett made friends with Bruce!

It is wonderful to have the opportunity to fellowship with other adoptive and transracial families, to celebrate our kids, and to gain from others' experiences!

eyes, ears, mouth, and nose

I made a felt faces activity for Brett to learn about mouth, nose, eyes, etc...
Here is his interpretation of the activity:

Greg Boyd on racial profiling

The white guy gets it. As far as I can tell, being white myself.

blunder

After a brief introduction to Brett, Lydia, and myself, an otherwise polite lady asked me,

"Is she yours?"

I choked on my words, and she was quick to realize her blunder. Glad my son is too young to understand and anxious about the day he does, I responded, "Lydia is my biological child."