Happy Birthday, Jesus!

celebrating at our house

One thing I was so looking forward to in becoming a mom was celebrating holidays with our kids. Holidays are a time to create memories, family bonds, teach values, and have fun with our kids. Not to mention, that I just love holidays - any holiday - because, whether it's Valentine's Day or Christmas, it is something to break the routine, and it only comes once a year!

We've given careful thought into how we celebrate Christmas in our immediate family as we bring traditions of old and new into our home. Not to be a Scrooge, but I get a bit irritated by all the materialism - all the accumulation of stuff - when there are so many people in need. I am keeping this in mind as we teach our kids "how" we celebrate Christmas. And yet, as you have seen in recent posts, we definitely feel our kids should have the magical childhood wonder of believing in Santa. Reggie was the only one willing to sit on Santa's lap!
It is a work in progress, but we have been intentional in doing the following as we celebrate Christmas as a family: We celebrate Jesus' Birthday - The first gifts under the tree, and the first gifts to be opened each year are little gold boxes - one for each family member. Each box contains a portion of the scripture passage of the First Christmas. We take turns opening our greatest gift - the gift of a Savior - and reading the story aloud. Our kids have free access to our nativity, creating an opportunity to tell and retell the story of Jesus' birth all season long. We give to people in need - Each kid filled a shoebox through Operation Christmas Child as a gift for a child in need. As a family, we also make special contributions to certain ministries and relief organizations, and the kids will be a part of that as they get older.

We give to people we love - Brett and Lydia have been making gifts to give, because it's not all about "getting"!

We receive - but not too much! - It is hard to show restraint especially when armed with a 30% off coupon for Kohl's Two-Day Sale, but our kids have everything they need and a lot they don't need. So, Santa filled their stockings with treats, and they got one small (homemade) gift to share from us. We celebrated Christmas as a family this weekend. Because our extended families live out-of-state, we will be celebrating with them the next two weekends. And that is when Grandmas will undo all our hard work of creating an anti-materialistic Christmas. But that's okay, because our Grandmas did the same to us!
All dressed for church, we attempted to participate in the "family" service at our church. We lasted 30 minutes...

Santa is coming!

The kids like to dance with the little dog as he sings "Santa Claus is coming to Town". I didn't expect Brett to run over to the door and knock on it. This is what he does when I tell him "Daddy is coming home soon" or "Lindsay is coming over to play with you today".

Santa had better make an appearance, or we are going to have one disappointed little boy!

kid news

I have lots of things to write about and lots of pictures to share - just not finding the time to do it, as I'm scrabbling to get things done for Christmas!

But just a brief update on the kids (for myself mostly, as the baby books don't get much attention).

At Reggie's 4 month check-up, he weighed in at 18 lbs (95%), and was 26 inches (85%) tall. He is wearing mostly size 9 month clothes. He is usually sleeping through the night and we are working on a nap routine. He hasn't rolled over yet, but if I prop him up on his hands just right, he can sit independently for a few seconds! He is a content baby, enjoying frequent changes in his environment, from the play mat, to the bumbo seat, and has even been checking out the exersaucer. Mostly, he likes being where Mom is, or his brother and sister are playing-so long as they are not climbing on top of him or trying to play catch with him! He babbles and smiles a lot, and likes to kick his chunky legs!

At Lydia's 1 yr check-up, she weighed in at 18 lbs, and was 28 inches tall. This was very encouraging growth, since she gained 4 lbs in 3 months, and has never averaged more than a pound a month! Lydia just cut her fourth tooth. She likes to copy things Brett does and says. It is cute to see them play together. Lydia says about half a dozen words and also knows what the dog, elephant, and Santa says! In other news, Lydia had her first happy meal a couple weeks ago, and her first play in the snow last week. She liked the happy meal, but was not crazy about the snow...At Brett's 2 yr check-up, he weighed in at 31 lbs and 35.5 inches tall. He is wearing mostly 3T, and just grew out of his size 8 shoes. Brett enjoys his new spot at the table with a place mat at mealtime, and apparently-ready or not-is going to be moving into a toddler bed soon, since he's climbing out of his crib. He loves to play music on his CD player, read books, and enjoys activities such as play dough, stickers, and coloring. We are discovering he is quite the clever little problem-solver. When we are getting dinner on the table, we set his milk out of his reach, so he won't drink it before we pray. He figured out how to maneuver his place mat in order to slide his milk over so he can reach it! He has also started refusing to be in the bathtub unless Lydia is already in the tub, and climbs out as soon as I start to get Lydia out...not sure what's going on there yet...Anyway, we're discovering it's a new adventure every day with our toddler!

Santaland

On Brett's birthday, we took a field trip to Santaland at the Downtown Minneapolis Macy's. I'm intending to make this an annual tradition. Last year, my mom and I took Brett a couple days before Lydia made her entrance into the world. This year's display (A Day in the Life of an Elf) was the same as last year, a bit of a disappointment to me, but the kids were delighted!

While visiting the display is free, there are plenty of opportunities to spend money. We skipped pictures with Santa, but bought a huge cookie to share from Mrs. Clause's Bakery and purchased a book in the gift shop.

Brett wrote a letter to Santa...

...and put it in the mail. Hope Santa gets it in time!

bees and elephants

Happy 2nd Birthday, Brett!

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

We love you, Brett!

Dear Santa,

For Christmas, can we have a bigger box so Reggie can ride, too?

Love, Brett and Lydia

Happy 1st Birthday, Lydia!

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

We love you!

thankful

Not your typical thanksgiving post, top ten baby gear items I'm thankful for:

1. My Ultimate Baby Wrap. All three babies have loved it, great for bonding, great for going about your life with a high-needs baby and a toddler, extremely comfortable!

2. The Amby Bed. Only used for Lydia, but was a life-saver. Thank you, Shannon!

3. Cloth diapers. I crunched some numbers, and we are currently saving $19 a week, or $80 a month, or nearly $1000 this year by using cloth diapers (does not take in to account initial investment, but does take into account cost of laundering).

4. Booster seats. We have 2, Reggie asked Santa for one for Christmas.5. Our triple stroller. Although cumbersome, it enables me to get out and about with the three kiddos.

6. Bibs with "pea catchers".

7. Sippie cups. What did they ever do before sippie cups?

8. Receiving blankets also used as burp clothes also used as changing pads. Bet I could even use one as a diaper if I needed to!

9. SwaddleMe blankets. Another life-saver with Lydia.

10. Tied for 10th is the bouncy seat and the bumbo seat. Basically serving the same purpose, baby graduates from one to the other.

Happy Thanksgiving!

but what can I do?

So, there are 143,000,000 orphans in the world. What can I do about it?

10 Ways YOU Can Care for Orphans

(This list was taken directly from the Hope for Orphans website. I figured they wouldn't mind...)

1. PRAY for them.

Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. -Matthew 7:7-8

2. SUPPORT those who support them.

…and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds... -Hebrews 10:24

3. PROVIDE for their needs.

If a brother or sister is without clothing and in need of daily food…and yet you do not give them what is necessary for their body, what use is that? -James 2:15-16

4. SPEAK up for them.

Open your mouth for the mute, for the rights of all the unfortunate. Open your mouth, judge righteously, and defend the rights of the afflicted and needy. -Proverbs 31:8-9

5. PROTECT them from harm.

The Lord protects the strangers; He supports the fatherless and the widow, but He thwarts the way of the wicked. –Psalm 146:9

6. VISIT them where they are.

Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of God is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world. -James 1:27 "

7. GIVE sacrificially to them.

Each one must do just as he has purposed in his heart, not grudgingly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. -2 Corinthians 9:7

8. ENCOURAGE them to press on.

We urge you brethren, admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone. –1 Thessalonians 5:14

9. ADOPT them into your family.

A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God is His holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families… -Psalm: 68:5-6a

10. MOBILIZE your church for them.

Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I commanded you. -Matthew 28:18-20

no walk in the park

Yesterday was so beautiful! Sixty degrees and sunny - that's rare for November in Minnesota and definitely rare for fall this year. I actually got to hang two loads of laundry on the line!

I needed to go to the grocery store for a few items, which is no simple task solo +3. My biggest challenge is I have three under old-enough-to-sit-in-the-cart-without-being-strapped-in. That leaves me with two options:

(1) Pray hard that a "car-cart" will be available. In this scenario, I buckle all three kids in their car seats, drive to the store, drive around the parking lot searching for a cart with a car in front for Brett to ride in. Then, if I find one, I park next to it, attach Reggie to me, buckle Lydia in the little seat facing me, buckle Brett in the car, do my shopping, unload the groceries, buckle the kids back into their seats, drive home, unbuckle three kids- two get carried to the house- and one runs away from me, and the groceries are still in the car.

(2) Take the triple stroller. With this option, I put Reggie in his carrier, buckle Lydia in, then buckle Brett in, then take Reggie's base to his car seat out of the car, fold the seat down, shimmy the stroller between the seats, put the seat up, reinstall Reggie's base, click Reggie in his spot, drive to the store, take Reggie's carrier out and set it on the front seat, take the base out, fold the seat down, shimmy the stroller out and set it up, take Brett out of his car seat and put him in the stroller, take Lydia out of her car seat and put her in the stroller, take Reggie out of his car seat and attach him to me, shop (can only buy as much stuff as I can fit in the stroller basket), and then repeat all of the above steps when I get back out to the parking lot.

Not liking either option tremendously, and wanting to spend the day outdoors, I decide to walk to the store with the kids and triple stroller. This is a big day, because the stroller is not newborn friendly, so it is the first day I put Reggie in one of the stroller seats. Lydia sat behind him, and behind that there is a spot for Brett to sit or stand, but not an actual seat with a back.

We have been practicing having Brett walk along with us around the neighborhood, so Brett starts out walking. Concerned about Reggie's feeding schedule and three diapers reaching their saturation point, I quickly grow impatient with Brett stopping every time he sees an interesting leaf or hears a dog bark. Brett finds a stick he grows attached to, cries every time he drops it, and for some unknown reason finds himself incapable of retrieving the stick on his own--requiring me to do so for him. I try putting the stick in the stroller basket. He's not satisfied, and continues the drop-cry-helplessness cycle every 15 feet until I decide even a big tantrum in front of the neighbor painting her deck is worth it, and I buckle him on the back bench. Fortunately, he concedes as long as he can have his stick. Although he continues to drop the stick every so often, at least I am walking faster now, and barely need to stop to pick it up.

By the time we arrive at the shopping center, Reggie and Lydia are happily riding, and Brett is falling asleep, nodding off, and nearly falling off his little bench. I consider my options, wishing I had brought my wrap so I could attach Reggie to me. It would be impossible to push the stroller and a cart. I decide to try Lydia on the bench seat and Brett in a regular seat where he can snooze comfortably. That plan fails miserably. So, I switch them back, at which point, Brett becomes quite alert and discovers he can escape the stroller every time I stop. I complete my shopping as quickly as possible and exit the store. Brett returns to his sleepy state. I try everything to keep him awake, and just in time, he looks up to see me passing by the playground. He points feverishly, saying "Help me, help me..." Still worried about Reggie's approaching mealtime, but loving the sunshine, we stop and enjoy 10 minutes of fall bliss on the swings and slides. Brett is not ready to go when I demand it, and many tears are shed, but we are back on the road toward home. Two blocks from our house, Reggie starts to scream and continues to do so until he is fed.


Our errand ($10 worth of groceries) took 2 hours. But, overall, we all enjoyed it and it was a nice way to spend the day. I'm sure people wonder why we would ever even attempt to leave the house solo +3 with the work that it involves. But this is not a temporary situation for us. Our reality is that there are a lot of challenges that come with all the joys. It takes a good dose of caffeine, humor, and determination to get through each day and keep our sanity. And we find it is easier to keep our sanity if we work at going about things life-as-usual, even though there is nothing usual about it.

143,000,000

Reggie is 3 months old!

Reggie is 3 months old! He has just recently discovered his tongue! He has also discovered his hands and fingers and likes to chew on them (as if we aren't feeding him enough...) He is also tracking objects and people, turning at the sound of a familiar voice, and has recently discovered the TV.

He is mostly wearing size 3-6 months clothes. He wears the same size diapers as Lydia! Our biggest concern at present is his plethora of skin-related issues, which I am combating with all the products I've used on Brett, but with even greater fervency.

Reggie has become a more content baby, enjoying sitting in the bouncy seat as long as there is lots of activity going on around him. He definitely still likes the babywearing thing, but he is already getting so heavy!

Sleeping through the night has become the rule, not the exception. How fortunate for us!

In adoption-related news, a court date for termination of birth father rights has been set for December 3rd. We are very confident everything will go smoothly, and yet will be happy to have this part of our journey behind us.

Orphan Sunday November 8th

Orphan Sunday is your opportunity to rouse church, community and friends to God’s call to care for the orphan.

Lydia is 11 months old!

The big news this month is Lydia is officially a walker! She took her first step at about 10 months and is now walking all over the place - with plenty of spills in slippery pj's on hardwood floors.

She has also started saying a few more words: cat, dog, no no, all done, Mom, Dad, banana (nana), and dance (something she loves to do!)

I've noticed Brett and Lydia have started playing together more. Lydia will start to crawl away from Brett and then look back, expecting him to chase after her. They have also started fighting over toys...here we go! Lydia also loves to look at books, sing songs, roughhouse with Daddy, and play with stacking toys.

There are only a few things I have left to introduce into Lydia's diet - whole milk, tomato product, citrus... She is eating basically what we eat, though I'm a little more careful about heavily seasoned foods.

This is really a fun stage!

pumpkins part three

Happy Halloween

from our three little pumpkins

here we are

This is my 200th post. Two hundred posts ago, 2.5 years ago, we announced that we were adopting our first child. If we had only known then.......

"...Test me in this," says the Lord Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it." Malachi 3:10

For my 200th post, I've decided to summarize how we got here. Bear with me if you are a regular reader of our blog, much of what is included has been shared, but I promise to include maybe a few interesting tid-bits that you haven't heard before.

I think my earliest introduction to adoption was in the fifth grade when I met a girl named Ruth, who quickly became my "BFF". She had been adopted from India as an infant. Her family was, and is, so solid - solid in their faith and solid as a family unit. Knowing them has been a real blessing to me, and set a positive impression about adoption in my heart.

Around age 20, I was attending a Bible college on the outskirts of Dallas. I learned a lot during my time there. Mostly outside of the classroom. I grew immensely in my faith and in my awareness of people hurting- next door and around the world. While I was there, God placed an inner desire in my heart to adopt, and as I moved on to grad school in Minnesota, I was sure I would mother children not born to me.

I met Bryan via a christian online dating website the summer before I started grad school. He agreed to building family through adoption, and I agreed to marry him! I'm so glad God placed just the right man in my life. Not only is he extremely loyal -to his faith, his family, his Packers, but he is an honest, hard working, intelligent man. He is always thinking of ways he can serve those around him. And, while sometimes it comes in the form of conflict, he balances me out in a lot of ways.

I have learned through experience that when you leave the gory details out of a story, people make up their own. So, here are the gory details. It's not that we couldn't get pregnant, just that we didn't. (Obvious, now.) We tried for a little over a year - which seems like a long time to couples who get pregnant on the first try, but not long at all to couples who have undergone years of treatment for infertility. We were never given a clear answer as to why we weren't getting pregnant, nor were we given any sort of "your doomed" prognosis. It stopped being fun, so we decided to pursue our desire to adopt. The part Bryan and I chuckle about now is we will probably never know if it was a fluke that we didn't get pregnant, or if it was a fluke that we did! And, wholeheartedly, it doesn't matter to either of us.

We are just so grateful for our three little miracles.

We had been praying, saving money, and researching adoption for nearly a year when we turned our application for a home study in to Summit Adoption Home Studies on April 25, 2007. We were skittish about this trend of "open adoptions" and believed a lot of myths out there, so we turned our hearts towards international adoption - and more specifically - Africa - and more specifically - Liberia. We completed our home study, turned it in to the placement agency that we intended to work with, paid a bunch of money, and even got permission from the US government to bring an immigrant into the country. And that is when we started to see very dark clouds moving in. It was looking like adoptions in Liberia were going to be shut down, so we bailed.

And adoptions have shut down. It is a very sad situation. I still follow the blog of a lady who started the adoption process about the same time as us. They have two boys...in Liberia. They have lots of pictures of their boys; they have even gone to visit them a couple times. But they can't bring their boys home. It has been over two years. I can't imagine missing 2 years of my children's life!

So, we explored our options. There was Ethiopia that was going pretty strong at the time. But we have good friends who introduced us to the reality of domestic minority adoption - that healthy black babies were considered "hard-to-place". We updated our home study in October 2007, and on November 1, working with An Open Door in Georgia, we officially started waiting for "the call".

Typically, in a domestic adoption, you wait for an expectant mother to choose you from a pool of families hoping to adopt, then you wait for her to give birth, then you wait for the revocation period to pass, and then you get your baby.

Not so with us! We learned about Brett on December 14th and on December 15th, we were on our way to meet him. Brett's birth mother did not have a plan in place prior to giving birth, nor did she elect to choose a family for her baby. Therefore, the baby was presented to the family (us) who had been waiting to adopt an African American boy the longest --only 6 weeks.

Brett Theodore was placed in our arms December 17th, 2007, less than 9 months after we had started our adoption journey. He was 15 days old. He has brought a smile to my face every day since. He is content, peace-loving, tenderhearted, and clever. While we are not extremely proud of our reason behind choosing "Brett" as his first name, his middle name meaning "God's gift" could not be more fitting.

Three and a half months later, Bryan got the surprise of his life on his 30th birthday. I was pregnant with #2.

Lydia June was born on November 28th, 2008, the day after Thanksgiving, and four days shy of Brett's 1st birthday. I went overdue about a week, making it the longest we have "expected" any of our children! Lydia has been the blessing - the little girl - we didn't know we could adore so much! Her little laugh is just irresistible! Named after her great-grandmother, we pray that she will have the same servant's heart. We already know she is determined - another trait of my grandmother's!

And just when we start to get into the swing of things...not even a month after Lydia starts sleeping in her crib, and only a couple weeks after I had finally gotten the kids to nap simultaneously, the phone rings...

While we were enjoying a family vacation in Wisconsin, Brett's birth mother gave birth to another baby boy and decided to place him for adoption. An Open Door contacted us to see if we would open our hearts to another son. I can't say it was an instant "Yes". It actually took us six days to overcome our weariness of having another newborn after not even fully recovering from the last one. But through much prayer, many people speaking into our lives, and a number of not-so-random circumstances (the big one being that with the busyness of summer, we had neglected to make that large extra payment on our mortgage we had planned to do with our big tax refund -due to Brett's Adoption Credit- and therefore just had the money sitting in our liquid savings account) we came to recognize that this baby boy was our third miracle from God.

The following Sunday's sermon was about being open to interruptions in our lives.

Reginald David was placed in our arms on August 26, 2009, when he was 20 days old. If you count from the day we said "yes" to the day Reggie was in our arms, we were "expecting" Reggie for 12 days. Reggie is named after Reggie White, Packer's Hall-of-Famer Defensive End, and also an ordained minister, who died an untimely death at the age of 55. (Therefore, his legancy is secure.) David means "beloved" and is Bryan's late Grandfather's name, and also my Dad's name, and also my brother's name. Reggie has been home for only two months, but it seems like he just belongs here. We haven't questioned our decision for a second. Yes, he was an interruption, but we have learned that some of God's greatest gifts come in the form of interruptions. We sure are happy we didn't miss out on this one!
Since the beginning of our blog, I have had Proverbs 16:9 "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps" in the margin. We didn't know what God had in store for us 2.5 years ago, but we are overjoyed with where we are and how we got here!

It is just as we had hoped, but not at all as we had planned.

confessions of a busy mom

Life with three is certainly a challenge, and it is all-consuming. It's a juggling act, and at least once or twice a day all the balls are dropped and shear chaos overruns the house. I've had to throw my ideals out, and come to terms with the reality that my kids will grow up eating oreos instead of fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies.

Here are some random confessions of the reality to motherhood for me:

With the exception of dirty diapers and rags, sorting laundry is optional. Everything gets washed on cold.

I let my kids watch TV. Sometimes even as a babysitter.

On the crazy days, breakfast and lunch get cleaned up at the same time - during Brett's nap in the afternoon.

Reggie drinks his bottles warm, cold, and anywhere in between.

I have been known to close the door on a mess (broken glass, overturned potted plant...) to be dealt with hours later.

Because Brett loves to read so much, I put a few books in his crib with him, so he can read them when he wakes up.

At least once a week, I will put the kids in their associated containment seats and wash my hair in the kitchen sink (it's quick and I can still hear them if there's a crisis). My mom did this when I was a kid, but I didn't realize it at the time that she would have much preferred a nice long shower or bath.

I pretend not to notice a lot of behavior that I'm not crazy about. I think it's more important to be very consistent about a few rules (regarding safety) than inconsistent about a lot of things that really aren't that critical.

When in a pinch, leftover minute rice, corn, and shredded cheese mixed together is "lunch". (And Brett ate every bite!)

I'm never too busy to read or play with my kids. Well, sometimes I am, but I will definite choose it over vacuuming.

I caught Brett just before he rode Reggie's bumbo down the stairs.


I'm the "Worst Mother Ever" moments. I think every mom has a few. I have a lot. Yesterday was no exception. I had ventured out with the kids to purchase a Little Tikes slide from a craigslister in Shakopee - about a 45 minute drive in busy city traffic. It was a bit hectic packing up all the kids and the slide and while putting Lydia in her car seat, I was distracted by the fact that Brett had the opportunity to run into the street, even though there were no cars in sight. About a half hour into our drive back home, I look into my little "see what your kids are doing behind you" mirror, and I see Lydia peeking back at me. It took me about .3 seconds to process this information (that Lydia, being both under 20 lbs and under one year old, should be facing backward, and, when properly restrained, not have the ability to look towards the front of the car). Currently driving on an 8 lane interstate at about 65mph, I freaked out! I cringed as semis buzzed by me and watched as Lydia happily bounced around with her new-found freedom. It was the longest 2 minutes of my life before I could safely pull off the interstate to buckle her properly.

I think my kids have extra guardian angels surrounding them!

pumpkins part two