christmas joy

It's been a rough week.  A week where something goes wrong, and you think - this couldn't possibly get any worse. And then it does.  

We ended up at home with no particular plans for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.  Never something I desire for, as some do, but something that occasionally happens with our families spread out.  We finished up putting our life and house back in order around dinner time Christmas Eve.  

Time to rest.  Well, as restful as life can be in the presence for our three energetic little ones.  Eager to open gifts.  Anticipating Santa's deliveries.  And, without exception, vying for attention.  The children drudged through a half dozen Christmas carols around the tree (just as I did as a child) and in a flash the gifts were opened.  It gets harder every year, but we really do try to keep gifts simple. 

I got my first good night of sleep in over a week, when I wasn't awakened to hear of Santa's arrival until after 6am.  There was evidence on our front step (deer prints in the snow, no joke) and in our stockings.

There was nothing fancy about our Christmas.  Our cars never left the garage.  We put together new lego toys and did crafts.  We played fox and mouse in the snow and drank hot chocolate.  We made a ham, but we do that often.  

But we lit our five candles at our table and read our advent devotional, and, because we had reflected on the story so many times in the last weeks, I let the kids fill in the blanks. And the angel said to the shepherds,  "Do not be afraid, I bring you good news of great joy, a baby is born.  He is Christ the Lord." (Reggie's translation.)  And there were many angels singing, "Glory to God, and peace, good will to men." (Lydia's translation.)  Brett was listening but much too busy eating his second helping of stuffing to interject.  

But it is not "as the old story goes".  Our Savior is born to us this day.  Our hearts are filled with hope.

After lunch we snuggled up and watched Disney Planes.  To clarify, Lydia watched the movie, Daddy and Brett napped, Reggie bounced around, and I looked at gardening ideas on pinterest.  But we were together.  And I didn't mind a bit when Reggie bounced up on me, gave me a kiss and told me, "I love you, Mom, Merry Christmas!"

As promised, our next activity was sure to bring delight.  At Thanksgiving, my parents, who are downsizing, bestowed upon us our twenty-five-year-old (!) nintendo, which we had not gotten around to playing yet.  All I can say is this was really fun.  Crazy how much detail Bryan remembers from that long ago, and downright amusing to race on the power pad!  And when Brett's Mario plummeted down a pit, his gut-laugh was shear joy.

We rounded out our day with left-overs and making one more batch of Christmas treats.  Not that we needed any more treats!

It certainly was nothing fancy, but I had the three best gifts.  Hope of a Savior.  Love of our family. And experiencing the joy of a nothing-fancy Christmas.

(My camera is broken and it's too much work to upload pictures from my phone to the blog.  Maybe another day...)

survivor blood vs. water made my blood boil

We are devout fans of Survivor.  We have watched every episode of every season.  When Bryan travels during the week, which he often does, and as was the case this week, I don't possess enough impulse control to wait to watch it til he gets home later in the week.  Every Wednesday, as soon as the last kids' head hits his pillow, it is on.

This season brought a new twist.  It started out with a tribe of returning players pitted against a tribe of "loved ones".  Each returning player brought a "loved one" to play Survivor with and/or against.  There's a variety of relationships resented including brothers, lovers, and mothers/daughters.  So, even though the season is "blood vs. water", not all the relationships are "blood" relationships.

This weeks' episode featured returning player Tina and her daughter, Katie, in a challenge against each other where one would continue the game and the others' game would come to an end.  Tina won the challenge, ending Katie's game.  Tina had a meltdown, amidst she says, "I was adopted and I don’t have those connections in my life. It wasn’t until I had her that I felt my first connection”, and goes on to describe the connection as a "pure, unadulterated, complete love."

This statement stirs up some pretty unsettling feelings for me.  Sadness.  Anger... fear.  Sadness, because, as much as reality TV is reality, I'm sorry this was Tina's experience and how she has resolved her beliefs about her adoptive relationships.  I can't argue that her feelings were wrong...a feeling isn't right or wrong.  Relationships are so complex, I do have a hard time accepting that any one particular factor, even a big one like being adopted, can dictate a level of connectedness.  This is where my anger comes in.  My anger is that adoptive relationships tend to be presented in the media as a "less than" relationship.  I am not saying adoption does not come with it's unique set of challenges.  I'm saying I'm glad my boys weren't watching. And I'm saying I'm six and four years into adoption-connections that are different from my connection with my daughter, as no two connections can be the same, but are definitely not "less than".  I would whole-heartedly to my core describe my connections with all three of my kids as "pure, unadulterated, complete love."  Which brings me to my fear.  I am the mom in these relationships.  I don't know what it's like to be adopted, only to adopt.  I can only strive and hope and pray that my boys will throughout their lives experience true connectedness within our family...regardless of blood or water.

Happy 6th Birthday, Brett!

Happy Birthday to our four-footer!  You are distinctively thoughtful and considerate, distinctively handsome, and distinctively quirky.  And a little mischievous to keep us on our toes.  

 I am so thankful that God chose me, of all people, to be your Momma.

Portraits in this and previous post, and future posts by Brittany at Sonbeam Studios.