call me crazy...

...but I'm thinking about going cloth...

...as in cloth diapers.

I know what you're thinking... Joy doesn't like doing the laundry...what do you do with the poo...leaks...messy...the house will smell...how uncomfortable for the baby...disposables are so convenient...how in the world do you use a safety pin with a squirmy baby...the list goes on.

But look at how far cloth diapers have come...

It's becoming so much easier to make the environmentally and pocketbook friendly choice.

I've done the math. We'd save about $1,000. (Cloth diaper sites say $2500, but I calculated my own bargain-hunting figures.) If you want to see my spreadsheet, I can email it to you! For that kind of savings, I might decide I like doing laundry.

And what do you do with the poo? Well, there's a solution for that, too:

Ignore the diaper in this picture. I'm not interest in that kind. But the top layer-the liner-can be used in the all-in-one diapers pictured above. So, if there's poo, the liner gets flushed-it's biodegradable. If there isn't poo, an experienced cloth diaper user tells me you can wash and use the liners about 3 times.

The downside is the initial investment. The diapers I've pictured are $15-$20 each. So, we'd have to be pretty commited to try it. But, I read cloth diaper wearers are easier to potty train. And, if we have another infant, we'd only have some replacement costs.

Ann, I know you're with me on this!

(I still have to convince Bryan. He is completely disgusted by any mention of diapers.)

7 months along...

We're 7 months along! Thinking through what we've done in the last month to prepare for Brett to come home, it has been a lot of nesting! A lot of preparing for a baby, and thinking through how we will parent our child. And a lot less paperwork and adoption-specific stuff, which has been a nice change!

Paperwork stuff:

• Submitted our application and life books to Adoption Associates in Michigan.
• Applied for another grant (Pray! We'll be finding out about this one in a couple weeks.)

Fun stuff:

Bryan is building a bookcase/toy shelf, which we will also be using as Brett's dresser for a while.

My brother and sister-in-law, who have 3 boys, gave us 10 bags of hand-me-downs! (size NB-2T) Here's some of it:

The rest of it, I have already washed and put away.Bryan's brother and sister-in-law sent Brett this cute outfit! The significance is that Bryan's jersey number was always 33 when he played football in high school and college.

The mobile! This has been a point of contention since we found ones for your favorite professional team. Bryan wanted Packer, I wanted Twins, and probably would have compromised for Brewers, since it would have at least been baseball! But then I found this one on clearance. The lime green and bear fit so well with everything else, I didn't care it was football! Bryan approved, but thinks it should play a fight song instead of Brahm's Lullaby!

Taking advice from mothers of newborns, I've been getting my rest... (and Rocky has been enjoying her spot on my lap while it lasts!)

Two more fun things I've been up to, but I think they're deserving of separate posts....

In God we trust?

Why do our dollar bills say, "In God we trust" on them, when our culture (us included!) really puts trust in the good ol' dollar?

I have not written much about the finances of our adoption. But I want to share a little about our situation in order to give honor to God's faithfulness. There have been lots of things that have happened in the last 6 months. Some I have shared on our blog, some I have not. But, to put it simply, we thought we were financially prepared for our adoption, and it turned out we were not. We had put our trust in our savings account! Isn't it just like God to to make it blatantly obvious that He is our provider, and has everything under control?

Last week, we were interviewed for a grant through the MICAH fund. Quoting from their website: "The MICAH Fund exists to glorify God by promoting the adoption of American black and black biracial infants and children by providing financial grants for qualified adopting couples who live in Minnesota and surrounding cities. In addition, the MICAH Fund seeks to support its families through education and fellowship opportunities." And the MICAH fund is going to help to place Brett in our home! We were approved for a grant! The grant is a huge blessing, and being connected with other Christian bicultural families is going to be a wonderful resource! Bryan is ecstatic (and it takes a lot for Bryan to be ecstatic!) because one of the interviewers coaches kids football leagues just a few blocks from our home. Bryan really wants to coach!

Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord. Jeremiah 17:7

Haiti

My parents are on a missions trip in Haiti. They are building a school. A few weeks ago, Providence Ministries visited our church and shared the video posted below. For $70, you can sponsor a child to go to school for a year. Not only will the child receive an education, but that money is recycled through the community 4-5 times by creating jobs.



In 2003, there were 1.2 million orphans in Haiti. That same year, families from the US adopted 248 orphans from Haiti. Hmmm...maybe Brett's little brother will come from Haiti...

This picture was taken after Hurricane Noel by Providence Ministries.

what to say...what not to say

In honor of National Adoption Awareness Month, I decided I would share a little advice with my readers who have not/are not adopting. We have gotten a full range of responses when we share our adoption story with people. Sometimes there is this long awkward silence where the person we are sharing with is trying to come up with an appropriate response. I empathize, as I too was once that person!

I participate in a couple of online forums for adoptive families, and asked for their input on this post. This list is a collection of their contributions, as well as a few of our own!

What not to say:

1. "I thought you were calling to tell me you are expecting." Okay, if you are still reading our blog, you know that we are expecting!
2. "Just wait, you'll get pregnant." or "That's nice, but when are you going to have a child of your own?" First off, if you must ask, replace "of your own" with "biological child". Even Bryan slips and uses "of our own" occasionally, and it drives me crazy! It really is interesting how some folks assume an adoption announcement is an invitation for them to ask about the "fruitfulness" of our sex life! I like how one lady on a discussion forum put it: "It is just so annoying that they bring up a depressing topic when we are making an exciting announcement!"
3. "My friend adopted/tried to adopt and [insert horror story]... So, I'm guessing this is like telling someone who just announced she was pregnant about your friend who miscarried.
4. "If there are so many babies, what's taking so long?" There is no shortage of children who need homes. It's true, adoption does take a long time, mosty to protect everyone involved.
5. "Aren't you afraid the birth mother will change her mind?" Once the papers are signed and the revocation period is up, a birth mother cannot change her mind. Until then, her baby is not our son.
6. These were contributed by a mother of two girls from China: "Is she yours or is she adopted?" Response: "Both." and "Are they sisters?" Response: "Yes."
7. "How much does it cost?" This one doesn't really bother us, but it does bother a lot of families.
8. Any comment/question using the phrase "real parents". Last we checked, we're pretty real! Use "biological parents" instead.
9. Any comment/question using the phrase "gave him up". This seems really subtle, but how would you like to hear someone gave you up? I've heard adult adoptees say this about themselves, and I think it's sad. Instead, try "placed him in a loving home" or "gave him a family" or "made an adoption plan."
10. "What if he has a health problem?" Again, would it be appropriate to say this to a pregnant mother?

What to say:

1. "Congratulations!"
2. "Do you know the gender?"
3. "Where are you adopting from?"
4. "What interested you in adopting from [country]?
5. "What about a name?"
6. "How exciting!"
7. "Are you nesting yet?"
8. "Will you travel?"
9. If the child is not from the same culture, "What are you learning about his culture?" and "How do you plan to celebrate his culture in your home?"
10. "Do you know how old he will be when he comes home?"

National Adoption Awareness Month

November is National Adoption Awareness Month!

Here are some ways to celebrate (besides adopting a child!):

• Donate a children's book about adoption to your local school or library. Here are a few suggestions: Shaoey and Dot by Chapman, Stellaluna by Cannon, We Adopted You, Benjamin Koo by Girard, and Over the Moon by Katz.
• Attend a community event celebrating adoption on November 17th! Find one near you at: National Adoption Day
• Write an editorial about adoption and submit it to your local paper.
• Encourage your church to recognize National Adoption Awareness Month.
• Make a financial contribution to an adoption foundation or a family who is adopting. Here are just a few that I know enough about to feel comfortable suggesting: One Dollar Adoption, The MICAH Fund, The LYDIA Fund, Shaohannah's Hopes, and The Dave Thomas Foundation.
• Consider doing respite foster care or volunteering at a crisis nursery.
• Learn about positive adoption language.
• Advocate for equitable adoption benefits at your place of employment.
• Pray for orphans around the world and increase your awareness at Cry of the Orphan.

This video is about 15 minutes long, and it's geared toward church leadership, but it's good!

waiting

We're officially waiting to be matched with Brett. All our paperwork (for now!) is turned in and we sent 10 life books to our agency in Georgia. Debbie (the nice lady that directs the African American program) sent out our books to adoption consultants around the state on Thursday. The adoption consultants will show them to the expectant mothers who are making adoption plans for their baby boys.


How does the matching process work? Well, we filled out a five page worksheet that would help the agency determine which expectant mothers to show our book to. It asked tons of questions about what kinds of "situations" we would consider (ie. only boys and a few other limitations). If an expectant mother chooses us from the life books (hopefully she will have a few families to choose from), the agency will call us and give us specific information about her situation. Then Bryan and I can either agree to the situation or tell the agency it's not the situation for us. This will all hopefully happen before the baby is born.


Every state has different laws about what happens after the baby is born. In Georgia, the woman can relinquish her parental rights 24 hours after the birth of the baby. However, she can change her mind for the next 10 days and the baby will be returned to her. During the 10 days, the baby is in private foster care. After the 10 days is when Bryan and I would travel to adopt the baby!


Here is an updated "paper pregnancy" photo:

Eighteen pounds gained!