Friday Night Lights

This has got to be one of the cutest things ever:

 Reggie's flag football team got to scrimmage during half-time of the local high school's game.

 Truthfully, it was shear chaos.  But, hey, they're seven.  Let's have ice cream.

People tend to assume Bryan is hardcore about the kids in sports.  Not at all the case. Reggie wanted to play football last year, and we didn't let him. And when you're seven, it's all about getting your energy out and having fun! 

(Reggie needs lots of getting-your-energy-out.)

I want to remember

I lived a pretty white life until I was 10 and we moved from small-town South Dakota to central Missouri in the 90's.  I remember my parents enrolled my brother in the high school on the other side of town, because, in part, they were uncomfortable with the diversity at the high school on our side of town. 

I remember, whenever we would have family from out of town come and visit, we would drive them through the black neighborhood and see all the black people sitting on their front steps.  But always with our doors locked and windows up. I'm pretty sure we called it, "the bad side of town".

I remember, a few years later, my nephew, probably about 4 years old came for a visit.  We were playing in the back yard when the black child next door came to the fence to say "hi". My nephew stared and stared, and I was afraid of what he was going to say.  Finally, he spoke: "I like your hair."

I remember it only took a few years for my parents to acclimate to a diverse community, and I attended the high school right next to the black neighborhood.

I remember doing ministry in the projects of Dallas in college.  One day I saw a black man hitting a young boy with a belt, yelling at him to get in the car.  What shocked me was all the people standing around like nothing was wrong.  I did not understand that what I was witnessing was probably the same as what the man's mother did to him, and the neighborhood families did with their kids.  And that many white parents do the same, just behind closed doors.

I remember thinking, "we got this" when we adopted our first black son.  I mean, we read a book!  And we don't even have to learn how to braid his hair.

I remember, driving with a family member, my infant son in the back seat.  At an intersection, there was a black man standing on the corner.  The family member saw the man and said, "oh, scary..." without a second thought.

I remember sitting in a community meeting, my belly out to (here), and my black son at home sleeping in his crib.  I woke up to a reality I was not required to see until that night.  A reality in which it is socially acceptable for a member of law enforcement to express his racial bias.  I was 30.

I remember one day, I was in downtown St. Paul and needed cash.  I stopped at a gas station, and since it would only take a minute, decided to lock my son, who was sleeping in his car seat, in the car.  I was already nervous about the choice I made when three black teens entered the gas station and, I, keenly aware of the cash in my hand, scrambled out of there as fast as I could.  I literally came face-to-face with my own racial bias and it scared me.  If I, the mother of a black child, had an immediate physical fear when I encounter a black man, was there any hope?

I remember seeing my boys, probably 5 and 7 at the time, playing in the front yard with toy guns.  They were obviously fake, one neon blue and one neon green.  As a car drove by, I was immediately afraid again.  This time, afraid of the racial bias of others.  Without explanation, I ran out and told them to go "shoot" geese in the backyard.  I have gotten rid of the guns. 

Black boys can't play with toy guns (or BB guns, Tyre King). If you watch the video of the boy with a toy gun, you will hear the officer report that 12-year-old Tamir Rice was "about 20".  You can also see in the video, that the officers drove up and immediately opened fire.  They did not yell out, "drop your weapon" or "put your hands up".  They did not shoot the gun out of his hand. The officer shot to kill. Toward the end of a video, an officer justifies the shooting because the "orange tip" was missing. 

I got off track, because although I had heard about Tamir Rice, I had never watched the video footage.  The officers involved were not charged with any crime.

I could go through countless cases since the acquittal of George Zimmerman in the shooting of Trayvon Martin in 2013 when the Black Lives Matter movement was birthed. But instead, I have a question. 

Am I biased?

It is a question that I ask myself often in day to day comings and goings - since that day when I came face-to-face with my own bias.  What is my first automatic thought when I see a person I don't know?  A person of color? If it is a biased thought, I consciously replace that thought with one that is not. I dare you to take this quiz about biases through Harvard University.  It only takes about 10 minutes, and is pretty interesting.

I absolutely believe that even the most well-intentioned police officers are not immune to bias, and it comes out in split-second decisions with deadly consequences. 

My son forced me to put my pride aside and look at myself exposed.  What I saw, I didn't like, and after eight years, I still have to be intentional.  I wonder what would happen if everyone (of all races) had to honestly look at their biases and were determined to change them?

I want to remember that all this police brutality caught on video over the last three years sparked real change in the social justice system, but also in the hearts of those (of all races) who refuse to see their own biases.

I want to remember telling my boys, "You can always trust the police" and mean it.

I want to remember my children growing up in a world where they are not judged by the color of their skin (MLK). 

second day of school

The second day of school was my first kid-free day since I worked on Tuesday.  I love spending summer with my kids - I really dread summer coming to an end.  But there are a few things I enjoy doing without them, namely, errands...and doctor appointments...  So I planned my monthly trip to Costco on the second day of school.

Here are 10 things that did not happen at Costco:
1. I did not sheepishly grab 4 samples at each sample station.
2. I did not have to repeatedly say "no" to requests for items not on the list.
3. No one climbed on or in the cart.
4. I did not have to, cart full, rush to the bathroom at the front of the store from the back of the store.
5. The items in my cart did not become building blocks to stack-and topple over- when I was not looking.
6.  I did not have to say, "Stop fighting" or "Don't touch each other".
7.  I did not have to apologize that my kids were obliviously in another customer's way.
8.  No one ran ahead or lagged behind.
9.  I did not forget to get anything due to too many distractions.
10. I did not say "Reggie" even once.

first day of school

Everyone was excited about their first day back at school, but no one was very excited about standing out in the rain to get their pictures taken.

 Reggie - 1st Grade

 Brett - 3rd Grade

 Lydia - 2nd Grade

Lydia lost another tooth, so she is excited to show off her toothless smile!

summer weeks 11 and 12

After we returned from our roadtrip, we had exactly 2 weeks of summer left before school started.  And a lot of stuff left on our bucket list.

Buy school supplies:

Go to another Saints game:

 Why minor league games are more fun than major league games:

 Go to the state fair (Lydia is getting a little big for the bike tractors)

Have some state fair food - Brett chose mini donuts, Lydia chose ice cream, Reggie chose cotton candy, and I chose Martha's Cookies.

 Reggie started flag football:

 Go on a date with each kid separately to pick out their first-day-of-school outfit:

Go to Valleyfair for the 1st time!

 Go on The Monster over and over:

 Pose with Snoopy:

 Eat lunch in the parking lot:

 Enjoy Soak City:

 One last day at the beach:

Labor Day weekend, I had to take a radioactive pill to kill my thyroid.  I was not supposed to be around people for 3 days, so Bryan took the kids to Papa and MeeMaw's.

I'm guessing Papa drove way slower than Uncle Matt.

roadtrip part 4

This is the last post of our roadtrip!  On Sunday, we packed one more lunch, loaded up the van, and left Miller.  We stopped at the Falls in Sioux Falls for a picnic.

This park is a fun place for kids to take pictures of their mom with their brother or sister.

When we left Sioux Falls, we were just an hour's drive to my sister and brother-in-law's farm. My sister is an amazing woodworker and they turned an old schoolhouse into a workshop.  She runs her business, Four Winds Boat Shop, from there.

After we checked out the workshop, they took us for rides on their four wheelers.

 Then they took us for rides on their horse, Jack.

 Then the kids climbed on the haybales and tractors. Brett and Reggie are allergic to hay.

We had spaghetti for supper and made s'mores. We also got to see my niece and her fiance. We spent the night, and in the morning, Matt won Brett's heart by making him his favorite breakfast - breakfast sandwiches.  Then, it was time to go HOME!  After 11 day of fun, we were ready to see Dad and sleep in our own beds again!

roadtrip part 3.2

Friday morning was cold and rainy.  We went to Bear Country USA, which is a zoo that you drive through. At the end, there is a walk-through part with baby animals.

After Bear Country, we went back to the RV.  It was really rainy, so we watched a movie.

As usual, Brett fell asleep during the movie. We ate lunch without him and were visiting in the RV, deciding what we would do for the rest of the day.  Lydia was bouncing around the living area when she started to scream "Help! Help! I swallowed a penny!"  I grabbed her and tried to dislodge the penny.  She continued to scream and cry.  Out of fear, Reggie was also screaming and crying.  Mom decided to call 911.  I was praying out loud.  Brett woke up in all the chaos and started to cry.  What seemed like eternity was probably only a few minutes, and the crisis was over as quickly as it started.  The penny did not come up, it went down.  It took a long time for the ambulance to come, 20 minutes maybe.  I can't imagine if she had stopped breathing!  The EMTs did a physical exam, then said I could either have her taken in for x-rays or wait and see what happens.  I decided to wait and see, and she was completely fine.  Didn't lose her appetite or get a stomach ache, and was even making jokes about it by the end of the day.  But that was SO scary!

We had originally planned to go to a gold mine in the afternoon, but due to the rain and Lydia's second mishap, we didn't make it.  The rain did clear out later in the afternoon, and we were so glad it did! We had something very special planned for our last night in the Black Hills.  We went to an old west chuckwagon show at the Circle B Ranch!

There were a few different activities for the kids to do when we arrived: gem mining, lasso practice, jail, and wax bullet shooting (we didn't do that - it was pricy).  There was also a gift shop and wood carver's shop.

A few minutes before dinner, the Biscuit Bandit stole the biscuits! So the Sheriff had to gather up a posse to go after him and get the biscuits!  The Biscuit Bandit was not going to give up without a shootout.  But the Sheriff and his posse were able to apprehend him and recover the biscuits.

On the menu was beef or chicken, baked potato, beans, chunky applesauce, spice cake, and of course biscuits.  The live western music was fun!

Saturday morning, we packed up and started heading back east.  We stopped at Wall Drug, again. After lots of looking, the kids decided they wanted stuffed animals from Wall Drug for souvenirs.  Reggie wanted a prairie dog, Lydia picked a wolf, and Brett chose a buffalo.  We also ate at the restaurant.  Reggie had a buffalo burger!

The kids were pretty worn out from all our adventures, but we still had one more leg of our trip to go.