the marshmallow test

Have you heard of the marshmallow study?  In the late 60's, researchers did a study to see how well 3-, 4-, and 5-year-olds can show self-control when a reward is at stake.  They presented each preschooler with a marshmallow.  If the preschooler would wait and not eat the marshmallow, he or she could have two marshmallows in 15 minutes.  In the study, the child was left alone with the marshmallow and led to believe they were not being monitored.  About 30% managed to wait out the fifteen minutes for two marshmallows.  Here's the interesting part.  Fifteen years later, the researchers went back to survey the children, now young adults, and discovered a striking correlation between the kids with the will-power and higher scores in various areas of life such as coping with problems, relationships, school, and planning ahead.

Well, I have three 3-,4- and 5-year-olds, and I happened to have exactly six marshmallows in the house, so I decided to give it an unscientific try.  The kids were all waiting for their lunch at the counter and I put a marshmallow in front of each one, explaining they could eat that marshmallow now while they waited for lunch, or they could have two marshmallows after lunch.  Lydia did not hesitate.  "I'm waiting till after lunch," she said with dead certainty.  Brett, already having the marshmallow in hand, paused and put it down, "Me, too."  Reggie wavered, "I want it now...no...I want two."  For that moment, I was proud of my good parenting and happy to know all three of my children were going to be successful in life!  I instinctively set the marshmallows aside and went to work at getting lunch ready.  I sliced up a pear.  The kids asked if they could eat it.  "One slice each, the rest I want you to have with your lunch," leaving the pear slices in front of them.  I turned my attention to the quesadillas on the stove.  When I went back to the counter, the pears were evenly distributed on the kids' plates.

Except Reggie's.  His were gone.

What can we learn from this experiment?

1.  Peer influence is powerful even in preschool.
2.  I don't really trust my kids.
3.  Leave the fruits and veggies on the counter; keep the candy dish hidden.
4.  Delayed gratification is a life-long lesson.

curious critter

Our nature center offers a program for preschoolers called "Curious Critters".  Since we're opting not to send Lydia to a formal preschool program, we're glad we stumbled upon this program where she has the opportunity to practice those oh-so-important skills like making friends, listening to a teacher, and being away from Momma.  Not to mention that the classes get her excited about nature.

And she is definitely a curious critter.  She is the one who likes to capture bugs and study them, rather than smash them or run from them.  In fact, I was informed that these two ladybugs are a boy and a girl...and I speculate she probably had a wedding for them in her room during her "quiet time" - with her My Little Ponies and Princesses in attendance.

While I can't get her out of a dress, I'm glad we share a curiosity about nature.  Wanna know what's in that cup?  Worms!

winter projects

I heard a reporter on the news say we are in our sixth month of winter.  I had a few projects I wanted to complete over the winter.  The first was painting the guest room.

 

Here are some before pictures (before we moved in the house).  I think the previous owners had used the room as a craft room.  After we moved in, we took out the cabinets and stuck a bed in there. 

Last summer, we replaced the mismatched doors, and finally this winter we took down the boarder and painted it light green. 

We plan to put in an egress window this summer to make it an official bedroom and finish out the project. 

We also painted the basement bathroom the same color.

 

 

My second and biggest project for the winter was making Lydia a quilt for her bed. 

I had bought the fabric in January of '12 and quickly made the curtains.  I had never made a quilt like this before and didn't use a pattern.  There were a few bumps in the road, and it took me over a year to get it done, but I'm satisfied with the finished product.

 

Something else I've been experimenting with over the last 6-8 months is extending the growing season.  Last fall, Bryan built a couple mini-greenhouses to go over my garden boxes.  Though it was very slow growth, I managed to grow lettuce and carrots into December!

 

 

On President's Day, I started planting seeds indoors for transplant this spring.  They are not doing very well, I don't have a good south-facing window, and haven't invested any money in artificial light or heat sources.  I also read about winter sowing, and have several containers on our deck that should produce some seedlings.  We'll see!

(Here they are on the deck this morning.)

 

I have my projects done so we can move on to spring now!

artwork in watercolor

 Mine.

Lydia's.  See any similarities?

my achy-breaky heart

I'm brokenhearted. 

But please don't try to make me feel better.  As miserable as it is, I want to feel this pain.

When I was in college, my heart was broken for the inner-city children of Dallas.  On my last drive through the city, heading north to pursue a master's degree, I pleaded with God not to let my heart heal. 

He didn't.  Four years later, my heart was broken for the inner-city children of St. Paul.  God enabled a friend and I to start a faith-based after-school program that is as-of-today still bursting at the seams - without either of us.

We often get the sentiment from well-meaning folks that we did a "good thing" when we adopted our boys.  Just to letcha know, I have never met an adoptive parent who likes to hear this. We feel we were on the receiving end of the "good thing".  But I get it.  Adopting a child who needs a family is a good thing to do, and in our case it is something we felt compelled to do after much prayer. 

I got side-tracked.  Anyway, recognizing that Bryan had reached his capacity for children, my heart still wasn't feeling better about the whole over-100-million-orphans in this world thing, and the over-100-thousand children in the US foster care system waiting for adoption thing. 

Wanting to feed this ache with something more than check-writing, last fall I completed training to become a Guardian at Litem (or CASA).  My case seemed pretty straight-forward.  The social worker and I were in agreement, and it looked like it would be wrapped up in a neat little package stamped, "Happy Ending". 

I suppose a more seasoned GAL would have seen it coming, but I didn't.  "I knew this was going to break my heart!" I said to my friend when I got home from the hearing yesterday.

If your heart is broken, you’ll find God right there. Psalm 34:18 (The Message)

 

I am just passing through these kids' lives, hoping I can help - but they are God's children!  How much more is God's heart breaking for His children!  I will allow myself to feel this pain, because it spurs action.  It may be easier to look away, to get on with life and fill it with picket fences and soccer practice. 

 

No thank you.  I don't want to feel better.  God, please don't let my heart heal.

Easter Weekend

We started out our Easter weekend going to visit the farm babies at the zoo, which also happened to be what every other city-dweller with children in Minnesota did on Good Friday.

Good Friday landed on Bryan's birthday this year, so we had a good excuse to start over-indulging in sweets right away.

For a change, we had both our parents come for the weekend instead of traveling to one or the other. On Saturday, the grandmas dyed easter eggs and made resurrection rolls with the kids. The grandpas watched basketball, and Daddy had a shrimp boil on the deck. Yum!

 

 

 

Saturday's weather was nice enough to ride bikes in the driveway.  It made me hopeful of an egg hunt in the backyard on Easter (even if it meant wearing snowboots), but Sunday was cold with wind and flurries, so the eggs got hidden in the basement.

 

 

I love that we celebrate the resurrection of our Savior in the spring.  The changing of the seasons is nature's reminder that "the new creation has come: the old has gone, the new is here!" (2 Corinthians 5:17)