survivor blood vs. water made my blood boil

We are devout fans of Survivor.  We have watched every episode of every season.  When Bryan travels during the week, which he often does, and as was the case this week, I don't possess enough impulse control to wait to watch it til he gets home later in the week.  Every Wednesday, as soon as the last kids' head hits his pillow, it is on.

This season brought a new twist.  It started out with a tribe of returning players pitted against a tribe of "loved ones".  Each returning player brought a "loved one" to play Survivor with and/or against.  There's a variety of relationships resented including brothers, lovers, and mothers/daughters.  So, even though the season is "blood vs. water", not all the relationships are "blood" relationships.

This weeks' episode featured returning player Tina and her daughter, Katie, in a challenge against each other where one would continue the game and the others' game would come to an end.  Tina won the challenge, ending Katie's game.  Tina had a meltdown, amidst she says, "I was adopted and I don’t have those connections in my life. It wasn’t until I had her that I felt my first connection”, and goes on to describe the connection as a "pure, unadulterated, complete love."

This statement stirs up some pretty unsettling feelings for me.  Sadness.  Anger... fear.  Sadness, because, as much as reality TV is reality, I'm sorry this was Tina's experience and how she has resolved her beliefs about her adoptive relationships.  I can't argue that her feelings were wrong...a feeling isn't right or wrong.  Relationships are so complex, I do have a hard time accepting that any one particular factor, even a big one like being adopted, can dictate a level of connectedness.  This is where my anger comes in.  My anger is that adoptive relationships tend to be presented in the media as a "less than" relationship.  I am not saying adoption does not come with it's unique set of challenges.  I'm saying I'm glad my boys weren't watching. And I'm saying I'm six and four years into adoption-connections that are different from my connection with my daughter, as no two connections can be the same, but are definitely not "less than".  I would whole-heartedly to my core describe my connections with all three of my kids as "pure, unadulterated, complete love."  Which brings me to my fear.  I am the mom in these relationships.  I don't know what it's like to be adopted, only to adopt.  I can only strive and hope and pray that my boys will throughout their lives experience true connectedness within our family...regardless of blood or water.

Happy 6th Birthday, Brett!

Happy Birthday to our four-footer!  You are distinctively thoughtful and considerate, distinctively handsome, and distinctively quirky.  And a little mischievous to keep us on our toes.  

 I am so thankful that God chose me, of all people, to be your Momma.

Portraits in this and previous post, and future posts by Brittany at Sonbeam Studios.

Happy 5th Birthday, Lydia!

Our peanut is five! 

How appropriate that every once in a while our daughter's birthday will land on Thanksgiving.  What a gift to have this little one born to us, always full of surprises, and just a little sass.  She is the littlest and the middlest but will not be overlooked, outshined, or underestimated. 

We thank God for you, Lydia June!

trick or treat

 Robot.

 Ariel.

 Robin.