"eye" don't know

One thing I didn't anticipate about parenthood was all the medical appointments and problems my kids would have. I don't think my kids are exceptionally unhealthy, so I assume all babies come with their share of "conditions". With Lydia, it has been her slow growth and reflux. With Brett, it has been eczema, a heart murmur, and a few other small things.

A couple months ago at a routine visit for Brett, his doctor brought to my attention that one of his eyes turns inward. It didn't seem overly worrisome - after all, he can spot a cheerio on the floor from across the room- but we decided to get it checked out when we got around to it.

Well, today was the day. We were warned the appointment could take 90 minutes, which it did. Anyone who has taken their toddler to the eye doctor is feeling very sorry for me at this point in the story. First comes the paperwork. The typical questions about family history are left blank. Brett is already bored when we are called back to an office with expensive equipment that appear to be good climbing apparatuses to any toddler. The nurse asks more questions about family history. No, I don't know. Wait. wait. wait. The doctor is entertaining enough to grab my son's attention for a few minutes. Then the eye drops to dilate his eyes. For the next hour I try to keep my son content and not disruptive. The drops are not working. The doctor tries to look into his eyes the best he can. He asks more questions about family history/pregnancy. More "I don't knows". He is able to see some cataracts, which he believes is the problem. My son has had enough and is melting down in my lap. I catch a few key words in the conversation - "not normal", "sedate", "possibly surgery", "maybe eye glasses". Ugh. The doctor wants to get some more definitive answers, and since I don't know much about his medical history to fill in some of the blanks, and I have a squirmy toddler, he will need to be sedated at a follow-up appointment.

I'm sharing this story because I know my family wants an update, but also to share what it is like to be in a mostly closed adoption. For my son's sake, I wish I could call up his birthmom, or at least contact her through our agency, and get some clues into what might be going on. But, last I heard, she didn't want to be contacted. I respect that this is the way that she felt she could best cope with the loss of her son, and in many ways, it simplifies things for us. But there are definate downsides to a mostly closed adoption, and this is one of them.