Birthmother's Day

The day before Mother's Day has been celebrated as Birthmother's Day by adoptive families and birthmothers since 1990. While it might not be as commercialized as much as Mother's Day, to many adoptive families, it is a day to honor the mothers who gave birth to their children.


I have recently started watching "The Locator" on the WE network. On the show, The Locator reunites families with their lost loved ones. Quite often, the separation is related to an adoption. It may be someone searching for a sibling after they had been separated through foster care as children. But other times it is an adult child looking for his or her birthmother or a birthmother looking for the child she placed for adoption. I'm always interested to see the adult child's view of his or her adoption and birthmother. Many have a great respect and appreciation for the decision that was made, but still just need to hear "why?" directly from their first mother.


I pray that my son will grow to understand that the decision his birthmother made was out of love for him... that she wanted him to have a great life. I often hear people say, "How could anybody give up a child?" It is hard for me to respond, because I could never imagine not having both of my children. But in my mind it is a decision that looks beyond the bond of birth and adorableness of babyhood. It sacrifices the joys of parenthood because she realizes the challenges are just too great for this child to endure with her. It selflessly and humbly recognizes that this child she loves so much can have a better life in a different family. I honestly feel that a woman who finds herself in a crisis pregnancy and chooses not to abort and not to parent is making the most courageous choice of all. Choosing to parent would likely cause heartache for the child and choosing to abort would end a life. But choosing to go through the pains of pregnancy, the ridicule of others, the throws of labor, and the loss of a child-all because she has the child's best interests at heart- now that has got to be one very strong woman!


I wonder if Brett's birthmother held him to say "goodbye", or if it was just too painful. I pray she is at peace with the decision she made. I love her because she gave me the most wonderful gift, and because she gave her son the best she could, knowing her limitations. And so today and everyday, I honor Ms. April, because she is so deserving to be honored. I hope someday I will have the opportunity to tell her in person.