Parenting my child with special needs is way different from having a nice neat little 30-minute-a-week counseling session with a child with special needs. In a counseling session, I can give 100% of my attention, while in life, most of the problems arise because I can't solely devote all my energy to one child. In a counseling session, whether it was productive time or not, it ends and I can move on with my week. In a counseling session, I may care about what's best for the child, but I don't love him deeply.
I have learned more from parenting my child with special needs than from any book. I have learned that I don't have all the answers. I've learned that sometimes it's hard to take my own parenting advice. I've learned that sometimes even the best parenting methods don't work.
I've learned that I'm impatient, and I have very little control over what my child does - and he knows it. I've learned not to judge parents by their children's behavior.
I've learned no matter how much I don't like my child's behavior, I still love him more than my own life.
I'm learning humility. I'm learning every minute of every day I will fail as a mom without God's grace. I'm learning even a mom can't fix everything.
Yes, yes, yes. I am a therapist and agree totally - it is SO different with my own children. And I am far from the perfect mom I hoped to be. And that's ok. Being a mom is such a difficult job - and such an honor.
ReplyDeleteJoy- How beautifully written. I am not a therapist or a counciler...but I feel those same things you wrote about with my kids. I have found out that being a mom is no easy thing. But I am so glad God has blessed me with the opportunity to serve Him in this very special way. What a great privlidge we all have been blessed with.
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