all the pieces of the puzzle

I have had a few people say to me, "I thought you'd have your baby by now." While it is true that Brett could come at any time, there are so many pieces of the puzzle that must fit together for Brett to find his home in our family.

Here are just a few pieces of the puzzle that factor into how long we wait:

1. Gender preference. That we are specifying a boy eliminates about 2/3 of potential situations-many expectant mothers do not know the gender of their baby.

2. "Openness" preference. We are choosing not to pursue a fully disclosed adoption where there are continued visits between the adoptive family and birth mother.

3. Special needs/drug exposure. In these areas, Bryan and I must make very difficult decisions about what child God has prepared us to parent.

4. Budget. This is a big one. We have this much money and many situations require THIS much money.

5. Expectant mother preferences. It is our hope that every expectant mother will have a few families to choose from for her baby. Many times an expectant mother will desire a certain race, religion, family size, geographic area, etc for her child.

6. Major changes in international adoption. All 3 of the "giants" in international adoption are experiencing major changes. Families just entering a China program can expect to wait 3-4 years. Guatemala adoptions are expected to shut down at the end of the year. Russia is experiencing major slowdowns. (Liberia, too!) As a result, many families (like us!) are reconsidering a domestic adoption.

7. Thousands of agencies. The number of agencies doing domestic adoptions across the US is overwhelming, as we have spent hours and hours researching which ones are a good fit for us. So far, we have selected 2 to have our life books at. We chose them because they very actively recruit families for babies who are black, and have comfortable fee structures. Consequently, they do have a nice "pool" of like-minded families for expectant mothers to choose. So, while, nation-wide, there is definitely a need for more families willing to embrace the joys and challenges of adopting a child of minority, there are enough families at these two agencies.

That is why Bryan and I decided to register for a referral service. Referral services network with agencies across the nation who need families for particular situations. Betty (the nice lady from the referral service) gets calls from these agencies, and then sends out emails to the families who have registered with her. If the situation seems like a good fit, then the family is connected with the agency.

In just two days, we have received five emails from Betty! So far, all the pieces of the puzzle have not fit together in any of the situations, but, it has only been two days!

Please pray for us as we are going through this process. It is very difficult to pray over an empty crib every night and wait patiently for God to unite us with our son.